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To feel uncomfortable when people call me..

(22 Posts)
ThisUsernameIsAvailable Fri 07-Oct-16 09:58:11

I know this sounds like a humble brag but it really isn't.
I was fat and disabled, I'm now thin and strong,I'm still technically disabled, I still have the condition but it doesn't control my life anymore

People keep saying I'm inspirational for losing the weight and getting to where I am now despite a pretty serious condition

I change the subject,it makes me uncomfortable, I ate to much and did too little and now I don't
I'm not inspirational envy

PurpleDaisies Fri 07-Oct-16 10:00:27

I would just respond with a thank you, you were lucky to be in a position to be able to change things in your life to get to where you are now. Sadly that's not possible for all disabled people.

Well done on your weight loss.

TheFreaksShallInheritTheEarth Fri 07-Oct-16 10:42:18

TBH OP, you sound pretty inspirational to me! Sorry grin

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Fri 07-Oct-16 10:47:28

Once they're used to seeing the new you it will probably wear off.
It's bugging you but I presume they mean not everyone can summon the energy to make such a change, don't underestimate your achievement.

Shockers Fri 07-Oct-16 10:52:22

I get that. I hated it when people made me out to be saintly because I'd adopted.

You probably do inspire them though. I feel a little inspired after reading your post tbh.

Sorry! grin

UntilTheCowsComeHome Fri 07-Oct-16 11:00:45

I totally get you.

I haven't done anything amazing like you have, but my work colleague lost a lot of weight and had lots of comments from customers.

I would cringe every time I heard someone say things like that to her. It made me feel 'invaded' for want of a better word, on her behalf. I felt like all they were saying was 'look at you, you're not fat any more'
My colleague got uncomfortable with it too after a while.

TheWrathFromHighAtopTheThing Fri 07-Oct-16 11:02:47

I see what you mean.

It's a burden, because what if, at some point, you backslide a bit?

It's also quite a backhanded compliment. When someone says to me 'oh you're looking great, you must have lost weight' I'm slightly pleased but mostly embarrassed that they saw me as a fat person previously.

Sunshineonacloudyday Fri 07-Oct-16 11:07:13

Just losing the weight alone makes you inspirational I'm still struggling.

Sunshineonacloudyday Fri 07-Oct-16 11:09:28

I hate when a particular person says to me you have lost so much weight you look great and I haven't lost an ounce. Thats what pisses me off I don't know if they are being genuine or taking the piss out of me. angry

Squeegle Fri 07-Oct-16 11:11:33

It is a burden! But it's meant in a good way, comes from a good place. Just give em a smile, say thanks and move on 😀

MrsJayy Fri 07-Oct-16 11:17:11

It is meant as a compliment i guess but i dont really like the meaning of inspirational sorry i know people struggle with weight but is it really inspirational to loose weight maybe the word is aspirational ?

GreenHen Fri 07-Oct-16 11:17:49

Whilst it can be as simple as realising you ate too much and moved too little, for a lot of people the reasons behind this behaviour are complex and it takes a lot of effort over time to change this habit permanently.

To them you are inspirational if you inspire them to overcome/change whatever habits/difficulties they have in their lives after seeing you successfully do it in yours.

I can see how this would become very irritating if it keeps happening though and I probably wouldn't much like it myself, as I find compliments a bit difficult if OTT/gushing.

I agree just say thank you and change the subject. Hopefully this will be over soon as they get used to the slimmer you.

MrsJayy Fri 07-Oct-16 11:19:10

I was called inspirational once because im disabled and have children im not i had sex conceived and had babies like millions of women do.

PurpleDaisies Fri 07-Oct-16 11:24:12

My friend who had cancer felt like this about being called "inspirational", "brave" and "fighting" her disease. She just thought she'd been dealt a bad hand that she just had to get on with and the fighting talk was daft. She was just having the treatment she was prescribed. The language of failure (lost her fight) after she died was just not right at all. You don't often (ever) hear of people losing their fight against other diseases. I know it's not quite the same as your situation op but it really annoys me.

JeanGenie23 Fri 07-Oct-16 11:26:03

Yes I can see where you are coming from, I haven't done anything like that but I ran a marathon earlier on in the year I raised money for a charity which was great, but I didn't do it for that, I did it because running helped me deal with my grief, people said how wonderfully selfless I was but all it did was make me feel like a fraud! blush

MrsJayy Fri 07-Oct-16 11:27:55

Your friend is at the extreme of the scale but it is the same thing the positive and then negative words used does have an impact.your beloved friend didnt lose her fight she died of a horrific illness sad

MrsJayy Fri 07-Oct-16 11:28:48

Sorry meant to say purpledaisy

PurpleDaisies Fri 07-Oct-16 11:30:10

I totally agree mrsjayy-the losing talk makes it sound like she did something wrong or could have worked harder and survived. She was just really unlucky. Before she died she was a social worker in one of the roughest parts of the local city. That really was inspirational.

CashelGirl Fri 07-Oct-16 11:48:45

As a fat person who eats too much and moves too little, it is inspiring to see that people can make those changes and get the physical results. I can also imagine how mortifying it must be to have people comment on it and draw attention to you. Although if (when, when!!!!!) I get slim and fit I am going to wear a tee-shirt with a picture of fat me on it so no-one ever forgets!

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Fri 07-Oct-16 12:01:09

The language of failure (lost her fight) after she died was just not right at all. You don't often (ever) hear of people losing their fight against other diseases.

PurpleDaisies and MrsJayy That phrasing winds me up too. 'Fought 'til the end' is how I look at it.

ScaredFuture99 Fri 07-Oct-16 12:04:35

BUt your 'I just got with it and I did nothing special' will still be an inspiration for other people that it IS indeed possible.
Seeing someone doing it is telling them they can do it too. IT's opening a world of possibility for them.
And in that way you are and will be (even if they don't tell you) an inspiration for them.

Besides, I think you shouldn't put yourself down re your weight loss. Loads of peole have tried and failed to loose weight so it's not just as easy as you make out.

JellyBelli Fri 07-Oct-16 12:15:49

I get what you are saying, you put right something that you had done wrong. It looks different to other people though. They know how hard it is to lose weight, and you lost a lot.
Can you prepare some short stock sentance to say to them? Something to end that conversation and move it along?

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