Son starting school next year, working full time

[sjd84]

AIBU to continue to work full time....

My son will start school next year, we have a good selection of schools around us, some with breakfast and after school clubs and some without. If we chose our nearest he will need to go to a child-minder, every day, before and after school. Myself and my husband cannot be that flexible with our working hours. I feel incredibly guilty knowing that I won't be there to drop him off or pick him up on most days. He goes to nursery currently and loves it. All around me seems to be mums and dads that can take their children to work and pick them up, which does not help the guilt!

Just after a bit of reassurance

[Offler]

OP, my children go to a childminder 3 days a week, and my youngest only started reception in September. He, too, was used to nursery and has taken to the new routine with no problems (admittedly, his big sister goes to the same school and childminder, so that made things a little easier!) their childminder is lovely and has a son at the same school so she knows what's going on

I do work shorter days on Monday and Friday so I can do the school run on those days, and make up my hours mid week. I usually do drop off and DP collects.

But honestly, don't feel guilty, we do what we have to do. He'll have a great time at the childminders, other kids to play with etc, much better (imo) than having me rush to pick up and then spend the rest of the afternoon trying to field work calls and emails and getting grumpy at the kids as they keep pestering me 😁. If you can negotiate time with work so that you can try and attend some of the 'important' school bits (open lessons, stay and sing, nativity plays etc) then you are doing fine!

[Tissunnyupnorth]

I was a SAHP for many years, doing all the school runs for 3 DC and everything else it involves.

This Sept I started a professional training course at Uni. I can't drop off of pick up my youngest anymore, have already missed two sessions where parents have been invited in, missed a couple of important bits of info, not been able to help out on school trips or in the classroom.

Whilst this has made me a bit sad, it has made no difference to DD's experience at school. She is just as happy, understands where I am and why. We have good chats in the evening about our days and what we have done ( sitting down to eat together helps here). It's become her norm.

What has helped is that I've made a big effort to keep in contact with other parents via whatsapp group/text. This has kept me in the loop. Even though I might not want to, I still arrange the play dates, offer to help other parents if I can, hang around at the beginning of a party for a few minutes, to chat & catch up. Nothing has changed, I just make more of a conscious effort to keep in touch. I go to any socials arranged by the class reps ( even though I might be tired with a pile of Uni work to complete) again, just to keep myself on the radar.

It will be absolutely fine.

[DetailedConfusion]

Picking up the dc from school is impossible for dh but i'm lucky enough that my work, childminder and school are all within a 10 minute drive of each other.

I work full time and my dc go to cm afterschool but I requested a (very) late lunch hour of 3-4pm which was agreed, so I pick the dc up every day and take them to the cm, then go back to work.

What shifts do you work and how close? Would that be a possibility?

[sjd84]

Thanks for the messages.

Myself and my husband both work in Bath, we are about a 30 minute drive from Bath, and my son will be going to a school in the village or surrounding villages, so driving there and back will not really work. We only have one car between us as well.

I will definitely be attending the important bits, and hope to be able to take him to most of his settling in days, as long as they don't run into months!

Cannot escape the guilt of parenthood