To think it's a normal reaction for me to feel nervous?

[NoRoomForALittleOne]

I have a hospital appointment next week with a neurosurgeon. I already have a diagnosis so know that this appointment is the start of considering whether surgery will help me. I've also been advised that I will almost certainly have some further tests including pressure monitoring inside my head (this alone involves a GA and having a hole drilled in my skull and then a probe left in for a few days). The surgeon may decide to operate and it's not exactly a small operation. Or he may decide that the operation won't help my symptoms so I'll be left having to cope with 5DCs whilst having mobility problems amongst many other issues.

I'm feeling nervous about how the consultation is going to go because it has huge implications for the future. My DF, however, has told me that I'm being ridiculous because it's only a consultation. AIBU to feel nervous or is my DF the one who is BU?

[phillipp]

I think this all depends on how you think.

Personally, having been quite ill recently, consultations didn't bother me. Because nothing horrendous was going to happen there and then.

Dh was very nervous at the consultations incase we were told something horrendous.

I am more scared of procedures.

I do think that if you are nervous, that's fine. Your DF shouldn't be telling you not to be silly though, even if they wouldn't be nervous in the same situation.

[HKHKHR]

I think it's totally normal to feel like you do. Of course nothing will happen at the consultation but you may get information that will decide your treatment going forward and that's the worrying part. I would think your DF is trying to be strong for you by telling you not to worry and that's not helpful at this minute but hopefully it comes from a good place. I hope you get some manageable news at your appointment.

[justilou]

Of course you're nervous, darling! Neither option - having surgery or continuing to have symptoms is something you would choose, and the consultant's decision has a big impact on your life either way. Sometimes people minimize your feelings because they are worried about the practicalities of the situation and don't have the emotional or mental space to cope with the added stimulus. Good luck with your meeting. I hope you get the answers you need.

[AmeliaJack]

You are entitled to feel however you like about it.

Your DF's job is to be sympathetic and supportive. I think you are entitled to remind them of that fact too (as calmly as you can).

Best of luck for your consultation and procedures.

[NoRoomForALittleOne]

Thanks all. I didn't think that I was totally ridiculous. Being laughed at wasn't exactly helpful.

[ImperialBlether]

Is that your fiance or your father, OP?

[NoRoomForALittleOne]

Father

[MyEternalSunshine]

YANBU I have a father who belittles my feelings and likes to tell me how to feel about things smaller than what you're going through so that must of really hurt you Medical issues are hard and scary and bring up a lot of feelings in people. Keep strong OP

[NoRoomForALittleOne]

The reality is that this is brain surgery vs permanent inability to use left arm/leg and permanent severe headache. There is no good choice and I expected a more understanding reaction. There is also no guarantee that the surgeon will let me go home after the appointment. The hospital is over 1.5 hours drive from home and that alone gives us childcare issues. Never mind that DD2 is a total wreck whenever I go in to hospital. Maybe it will be acceptable to be nervous when it comes to surgery???