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To want to cut off the in laws?

(10 Posts)
Toyslayer Wed 21-Sep-16 08:07:53

Maybe not completely, but every visit has to be done by us to them and every time we see them they stress out DH so badly it causes arguments at home.

We have a baby on the way and DH is working all the hours under the sun to try and provide for baby and the lull in income that will come with paternity/maternity leave, it's stressful.

They like to whinge unnecessarily about DH helping THEM with their MINOR issues, such as, a kitchen cupboard that needs replacing, when FIL is more than capable of doing it himself.
DH just doesn't have the time between work, study, preparing for baby and getting OUR HOUSE ready for said baby. All while trying to have the much needed pre-baby quality time with our eldest. He's making himself unwell and I'm unsure how they can't see this and can be so damn selfish!?
I wish I could do more to help with getting house ready but expecting in 2 weeks and have illnesses myself that leave me useless most of the time lately sad fed up!

ItWentInMyEye Wed 21-Sep-16 08:17:01

Could you say you won't be visiting again from now until some time after baby is born? I didn't want to travel far when I was only 2 weeks from giving birth! What does DH say about it all?

TheRedCarWon Wed 21-Sep-16 08:56:36

I can't help but wonder, if you have a boy, in many years to come when that boy is older how would you feel if his wife/partner resented you asking for his help so much that they were considering not seeing you at all?

Fluffyears Wed 21-Sep-16 10:43:31

theredcar it's our perspective at the moment. The cupboard issue isn't really important to anyone but them and OP's husband had too much on his plate to go and help. I'm sure any expectant grandparents could respect that.

Fluffyears Wed 21-Sep-16 10:46:12

MIL wants dp the go round and sit in her house to watch tradesmen don't steal from her whilst she gets her hair done. That would be fine if it wasn't a Wednesday morning and he has work. Obviously I resent her looking for help.

RunningLulu Wed 21-Sep-16 15:26:25

They're his parents, and it's his decision to go (or not). It's not any of your business.

VladmirsPoutine Wed 21-Sep-16 15:33:12

I do fear having boys in the future sad

squoosh Wed 21-Sep-16 15:55:16

Sounds like your DH needs to be more assertive and tell them he's not able to carry out tasks A. B and C rather than taking his frustration out on you at home.

Cutting them off seems extreme when you could just have a conversation and tell them how things are at the moment.

Chikara Wed 21-Sep-16 16:12:11

Just tell them that is a busy time at the moment but that you will be delighted to see them when the baby is born.

Resentment isn't nice - makes you sour. It is ok to say that now isn't a good time - I have had a tough summer myself and have seen nobody. Doesn't men I'll cut off contact.

tofutti Wed 21-Sep-16 16:39:53


It's OP's business because she presumably cares about her DP and doesn't want him stressed. Or to argue with him home.

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