AIBU to think my dentist was unpleasant?

[HelloWadeKinsella]

I've been having recurring problems with an impacted wisdom tooth, and after numerous infections the dentist suggested I have it out. I said okay, and he said that he would refer me to the hospital. This was 6/7 weeks ago.

When I went back last week because it was infected again, he was very irritated with me for 'ignoring the referral and then taking up an appointment with the same issue'.

I didn't receive a letter! He showed me on his screen that the referring hospital had written to him saying that as I'd not been in touch to make an appointment, they would discharge me back to his care but that he should re-refer if needed.

I apologised and said that I really didn't receive a letter, I had been looking out for it and want to get this problematic tooth dealt with - so I definitely wouldn't just ignore it! I asked if he could kindly re-refer.

He then refused to do so unless I rang the hospital clinic and apologised, otherwise they would 'ignore the referral anyway'. I did point out that the letter said they would be happy for me to be re-referred but he insisted.

So I rang the hospital, and the receptionist checked on the system and said there was no reason that he couldn't refer again and that he didn't have to get their say so to go ahead at all.

I emailed my dentist saying that the hospital had said it was fine to re-refer, but now I'm feeling like he was just being unpleasant for the sake of it? Refusing to re-refer until I offer an apology for something I didn't do intentionally to somebody who didn't care one bit.

Is this weird?

[acasualobserver]

I think it's weird and would get a new dentist - plenty to choose from where I live. Is that possible for you?

[wasonthelist]

Crap dentist - change asap.

Short term ring hospital. I had exactly the same crap about "not responding" to a letter I never got and they sorted it out at the hospital without needing another referral.

Yanbu, some Health Professionals seem to see us an irritant rather than their living which is a shame.

[LurkingHusband]

True story.

My optician become concerned about my field tests, and wrote a letter to my GP requesting a referral to the local hospital.

Because we had moved 6 months previously, we asked everyone to ensure they had our new address, and they all did.

Referral never came. When I chased it up with the GP I was told it was sent, but because I never attended, it was cancelled.

Requested a new referral. Ditto.

By now things were getting absurd, so we contacted the owner at our previous address (because it was HA there was a delay and cock up in our forwarding address being passed on) and lo ! There were all the referrals.

To cut a very long story short, after witnessing my consultant dictate a note to ensure the records were up to date (they were), I found myself having a battery of tests, and being handed my notes to walk between departments.

Obviously I peeked, and found a sheet of pre-printed address labels with my old address in the back of the folder. Even more obviously they didn't survive the journey to the next test.

You would think "mystery solved". However, when I told my consultant he made enquiries, and reported that he had been told emphatically that the trust never used pre-printed labels, and therefore what I had described was "impossible".

it would have been funny if it hadn't delayed my diagnosis and treatment for nearly a year.