First time posting in AIBU and just looking for some outside perspective.
I've been ttc for 2 years and have just started seeing a therapist who specialises in infertility. At my first session we talked about what I want to get out of counselling which is mostly to find a way to deal what's happening to me, but still go out into the world and see people and not lose my friends after all of this, because I've increasingly been isolating myself particularly from pregnant friends (which is most of them). So far so good.
My second session was this week and we talked about a wedding I'd been to of a very close friend (of 16 years) where I'd felt quite sad and a little excluded by the bride. Essentially, I wasn't included in any of the official photographs whilst lots of people were included who I think are much less close to the bride than I am. Because of how I'm feeling now anyway, this hit me quite hard - the realisation that I'm perhaps not as important a friend to her as she is to me - I felt quite low for a few hours at the wedding, cried a bit in the toilets, talked to my partner, snapped out of it and went on to have a lovely time and the bride and groom were none the wiser.
So, I tell my therapist about this, but say that I was probably more sensitive to it because of other things and I'm sure there was no particular reason why she wouldn't want me in her photographs. And out of nowhere, the therapist asks me whether the bride is white and if it was a wedding that was mainly white people and I was the only black person and am I therefore feeling additional feelings of isolation due to my ethnicity. I am black, the therapist is white. So I said yes I was one of a handful of non-white guests, but it hadn't occurred to me that race would have played a part in what happened and I'm sure that it didn't. So she eventually accepts this and says maybe she shouldn't have asked but she was just trying to understand the context. We move on.
But now I feel quite uncomfortable, partly because she's put into my head the idea that one of my oldest friends might deliberately not have wanted me in her wedding photos. But more than that, I am starting to wonder whether she googled me or something to see what my friendship circle is like. Or she's looking at me and making assumptions about me based on race that have nothing to do with what I actually go to see her about.
I'm thinking of stopping seeing her, but am I being silly? Should I tell her the truth if I do stop? Just interested in your opinions.
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
AIBU?
Should I ditch my therapist?
5 replies
star1980 · 16/09/2016 11:51
OP posts:
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.