To not know who to prioritise!

[Rollonbedtime7pm]

I have 2 DDs at home with me during the week (DS at school).

DD1 is 4 and has 3 mornings at preschool and 2 days at home all day. DD2 is 5 months. On the days we are at home, I am constantly debating whether we do activities to keep DD1 busy or we focus on DD2 getting a good nap.

DD2 is generally catnapping in the morning and then (if she's in bed) managing a long afternoon sleep before we have to do the school run. I try to meet with friends with kids DD1's age so she has someone to play with or go to a group.

My dilemma is - if friends are only free in the pm or groups are on then, do we entertain DD1 or stay at home so DD2 can sleep? I feel mean to DD2 to drag her about but DD1 is struggling enough with the arrival of her sister without her curtailing her social life too!

I am not sure if DD2 would have such a long sleep in her pram if we were out - she's awful to put to bed if she has crap naps so I daren't test it!

AIBU to prioritise one of their needs over the other's? What did/would you do with your own children?

[Gizlotsmum]

Can you alter the priority? So somethimes DD2 is out at nap time, other days DD1 stays at home? You could do a weekly activity for DD1 so she could make friends etc but not disrupt DD2 everyday

[ThinkOfAWittyNameLater]

I'm reminded of advice a friend once gave me. Prioritise the older child over the baby. The child will remember. The baby won't.

I agree you could switch between the two but I'd be inclined to focus more on the older child to prevent resentment building up.

[Rollonbedtime7pm]

I suppose I already kind of do that - we tend to stay home after preschool as I think well, she has seen her friends and been out this morning.

DD2 is knackered by teatime either way it seems to maybe I am overthinking it!

[Pimmmms]

Split the difference? You have 2 days, 1 at home, 1 out and about and see how it goes!