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To think Because I got nipples is not a valid reason

(32 Posts)
Ohflippinheck Thu 15-Sep-16 17:40:42

DD has developed a fascination with nipples. I try to acknowledge her but not make a big deal of it when she talks about them. I'm quite used to these little phases but this one... It's like she's trying to humiliate me.
We walk down the street and she's shouting 'he's got nipples!', the postman knocks and she asks 'have you got nipples?', she announces to the supermarket cashier 'mummy's got nipples!'. And the new one is using them as an excuse not to cooperate.
So far today; she won't go to nursery, won't keep her nappy on and won't eat her dinner... Because she's got nipples.
What am I doing wrong?

TheSecondOfHerName Thu 15-Sep-16 17:47:06

Next time she asks you to do something for her, refuse. When she asks why, explain that it's because you have nipples.

NickyEds Thu 15-Sep-16 17:47:54

Is she 20? No? Then I wouldn't worry! She'll grow out of it.

harderandharder2breathe Thu 15-Sep-16 17:50:15

Sorry for not being helpful but that's hilarious!

"Sorry dd can't get you a yoghurt, I have nipples!"

TheCountessofFitzdotterel Thu 15-Sep-16 17:52:16

Do you think it would work on dh? 'Your turn to put the bins out again love, I know you did it last time but I have got nipples.'
Actually it might work.

Ohflippinheck Thu 15-Sep-16 17:58:14

Might try it for a sickie tomorrow. "Sorry Boss, can't come in today - I got nipples!"

eyebrowsonfleek Thu 15-Sep-16 17:58:35

TheSecondOfHerName - possibly the funniest post I've read today and I've wasted loads of time on here. grin

NoCapes Thu 15-Sep-16 17:59:39

grin "sorry I can't come in to work today, I've got nipples!"

Definitely my new excuse for everything


Vlier Thu 15-Sep-16 18:01:53

Are nipples the new cooties?

JeepersMcoy Thu 15-Sep-16 18:05:31

Yesterday dd stopped in the middle of a busy street and said to me very loudly 'when I grow up I will have really big nipples like you mummy, not small tiny ones like daddy'

I may have died just a little bit...

whywonthedgehogssharethehedge Thu 15-Sep-16 18:06:34

Best excuse ever

KingJoffreysRestingCuntface Thu 15-Sep-16 18:08:01

I can't answer your post.

Because nipples.

tictactoad Thu 15-Sep-16 18:09:47

Nipple cooties.

The most perfect excuse ever?

IneedAdinosaurNickname Thu 15-Sep-16 18:10:28

My grandad used to get us to do all sorts of chores because he had a bone in his leg and couldn't.
Then it dawned on me that I did too 😂

bloomburger Thu 15-Sep-16 18:11:45

She should team up with my DD. She is so infatuated with mine that she thinks it's fine to stick her hand down my top randomly and just hold one! This morning whilst on the loo doing a poo was nice!

duskonthelawn Thu 15-Sep-16 18:15:14

My DD likes to try and pinch mine, and waves goodbye to them when I put my bra on confused
I'd rather they were comfortable seeing and talking about them than finding them embarrassing or something to be ashamed of!

oldlaundbooth Thu 15-Sep-16 18:15:16

DS is the same, well, not really but he's a bit obsessed! He wasn't even breastfed!

He calls them 'bumps' hmm

2kids2dogsnosense Thu 15-Sep-16 18:17:36

Nipples - the gift that keeps on giving.

Amummyatlast Thu 15-Sep-16 18:18:10

My DD has a boob obsession. She's goes round say 'mummy you've got big boobs (they're tiny), I've got small boobs and daddy's got small boobs'. She was excited to learn that she would have big boobs when she got older. I though that would knock it on the head, but the boob obsession has continued.

whoopiedoo Thu 15-Sep-16 18:21:30

My DD who's 16 months is the same smile How old is DD?

She keeps pointing to her nipples and shows them to everyone! smile She also lifts up mine, DP and other family members tops to see if we have nipples and then shrieks with laughter when she finds them.

Be glad it's DD has also just discovered her mini (as we call it) and is completely fascinated by it, whips off her nappy at every opportunity to look at it or touch it and also wants to show other people. The joys of discovery smile

MadameCholetsDirtySecret Thu 15-Sep-16 18:30:04

That is so charming OP. Sorry I'm no help.

kaitlinktm Thu 15-Sep-16 18:31:15

Haha - my FiL used to say he couldn't do stuff because he had a bone in his foot. Nowadays we tend to blame the camshaft - sorry, can't draw the curtains because the camshaft's broken. Nipples would be better though.

GerdaLovesLili Thu 15-Sep-16 18:41:04

Nipples! It's one of those words that gets more and more meaningless the more you say it... nipples nipples nipples nipples nipples. grin

Ohflippinheck Thu 15-Sep-16 18:53:08

I'm glad I shared the nipple madness now grin

TheMasterMurderedMargarita Thu 15-Sep-16 18:55:05

Wait until she pulls her t-shirt over her head footballer style and runs round the very busy park screaming NIPPLES!!! at the top of her voice for no apparent reason.
DD was around 5 when she did that.
Just think, you can regale her with the NIPPLES story when she's being a mardy teen.

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