am I just being paranoid?

[chocoholic89]

So my ex moved out 3 months ago, he has gone back to his mum's and I have gone on to universal credit. He does come round at the weekend to stay and be with the dc. So is this allowed? He came over today to pick a card up and a car went passed slowed down and stared as I opened the door.
I got really paranoid and thinking I'm being watch, he's a lowed to come over I'm not false claiming or anything he stays and pays council tax at his mums. Pls tell me my minds running off with itself.

[inthenickoftime]

I've been subjected to a random check on my living situation. Apparently they go through single parent claims and check the address to see if any other person is registered there. So if any letters get delivered to you then I would make sure that he changes his address asap.

I don't think a car slowing down is anything to worry about. You'd usually just received a letter and then the investigation will begin.

How many nights a week does he stay with you for the children? I think if it's 3 or more then he could technically be classed as living with you.

[OrsonWellsHat]

Make sure he has absolutely NOTHING registered at your address or any post arriving there for him. All bills, tenancy agreement/mortgage etc need to be in your name only. At some point you will likely be subject some sort of 'compliance' shite and if anything of his is connected to your address you can be subject to fines/overpayments. This has happened to me recently, it was a nightmare to resolve

[RhodaBorrocks]

I won't even receive post on my ex's behalf in case it flag anything.

He's stayed over twice in 4 years - both were overnight babysitting for DS whilst I was away, but DS usually prefers to go to DGPs anyway.

My local council are really hot on stopping your benefit for ANYTHING so I am really strict with ExDP or else he takes the piss. Thankfully we've been almost completely NC for nearly a year and I've only just thrown his bloody shower gel and washing powder out from where he used to use my facilities when visiting DS!

[c3pu]

The "3 nights a week" rule is a total myth...

[inthenickoftime]

I was told by housing benefits about the 3 day rule so it may well not apply to tax credits. Might be worth looking online or phoning though.

[JellyBelli]

He cant sleep at yours. Its not worth the risk as anyone can drop you in it.

Dont worry about the car slowing down. If anyone asks, he doesnt sleep there.
Check there are no toothbrushes or anything else belonging to him in the house.

[RavioliOnToast]

I was investigated after DD1s dad left.

A lady came around and asked me what the situation was- I explained. I also said that he still had mail coming to my address, she said this wasn't a problem. He wasn't staying over though. However when I asked my income support advisor if my bf could stay over; she said no as you're either in a relationship or not. I understand different circumstances however she did say that nobody could stay.