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AIBU to find these comments upsetting?

(5 Posts)
user1471459859 Tue 30-Aug-16 11:24:15

Long time lurker, first time poster..
My brother always had a difficult relationship with our parents and was estranged from them for the last ten years of their lives. Treated them very badly and swindled them out of a huge inheritence, amongst other things. In May my brother was diagnosed with Cancer and so was I a year ago. A few people (friends, family) who know what he did to my parents have openly said to me 'it's karma, he got what he deserved' and 'what goes around, comes around'. At the weekend a close friend commented that my parents 'would be looking down and having the last laugh' at his situation (they wouldn't.) Whilst my rational head tells me they mean nothing personal it hurts as I too have had Cancer. Did I 'deserve' it too? Is it my karma? Of course not. When these comments have been made I do say 'well I didn't deserve it did I? But it hurts. No-one deserves it, but I do find it upsetting. WWYD in this situation, AIBU to feel hurt by this?

DerekSprechenZeDick Tue 30-Aug-16 11:26:21


No one deserves cancer

OxyThroatSkin Tue 30-Aug-16 11:35:59

Yanbu. What I disgusting thing to suggest that he gets what he deserves for what he's done to your parents. Some friend. Let them know how hurt you are by such a comment.

Cancer can happen to anyone, even a saintly nun.

Damselindestress Tue 30-Aug-16 11:43:07

YANBU! These people are actually being offensive to your late parents to suggest they would ever laugh at their child having cancer, even if they did have a difficult relationship with him. And they are being offensive to you by associating cancer with karma. Cancer can happen to anyone. Their attitude is disgusting. Sounds like they just love drama and don't care about your feelings. I would tell them that their comments are very hurtful and if they don't stop, distance yourself from them.

user1471459859 Tue 30-Aug-16 12:00:31

Thank you so much for your kindness and support, it means so much. Just finding it so hard to know what to say. These people also know the awful time my Dad went through dying of Cancer himself and he was the kindest, most giving man on earth. Just so hurt that people ('friends') can think like this, never mind actually say it sad

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