Feeling like a shitty mum!!

[Toomuchbooty]

AIBU to indulge in abit of self pity!

I'm a single mum of a 4yr old and I work full time with clients with challenging behaviour

My DC is usually a joy to be around with the usual bouts of tantrums, since he came back from his dad's this time after I'd been at work he has been a massive challenge, he has been tantruming, moaning, throwing thing, ripping up plants etc when he doesn't get his own way, being far too loud all the time running around at 50 miles an hour, I have lost count of the amount of times I have asked/told/pleaded that he just slow down a bit!
(These behaviours are not new but are usually rare)

I have been on nights and Have missed out on a lot of sleep, I know I am irritable and tired, not his fault, and I honestly don't think that's what's caused it but am aware it could be without me realising!

I'm also wondering if perhaps going between me and his dad is unsettling him?

Mainly though I just feel like I'm floundering, it doesn't matter what consequences I put in place they don't seem to help, I've tried being reasonable, I've tried taking things away from him, I've tried being firm, I've tried cuddles and understanding and I honestly don't know what to do for the best! You hear/read so much about different ways of parenting punishing/not punishing naughty step is good/bad it's so confusing knowing what to do for the best!

I'm tired and I feel sorry for myself, I know I ABU and a bit pathetic but I'm hoping for a bit of reassurance that everyone feels like this sometimes and any advice will be gratefully accepted!

[Trifleorbust]

It's normal for kids to go through a rough patch when there is change afoot, and particularly when it is difficult between parents. You are certainly not a bad mum! I would suggest a combination of talking reasonably to him, rewarding the good and punishing the bad behaviour. Just keep at it for a while, it will work. Naughty step might be better for a slightly younger child - time out in his room?

[Toomuchbooty]

Thanks for replying :)

Unfortunately his room has all his toys in so time out in there would be a treat I think!

His dad said he'd been alright while there, but he does so more with him as he is not working at the minute, so he gets his spare time to do everything he needs to do and relax and then has DC so can focus full on him, but I am at work every night I don't have him so I have to do the everyday mundane things as well as try and entertain him while I have him so I think maybe that's a factor in it, which can't be helped but is a bit frustrating for both of us I'm sure

Deep down I know it's probably just a stage but it's hard to see hat when you're in it isn't it!

[Trifleorbust]

Definitely! I would remove or minimise the toys and then put him in there, tbh.