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AIBU?

DD is being harrassed by a group of children she went to primary with, wwyd?

20 replies

pianoshark · 25/08/2016 16:15

NC.

DD was very quiet and not confident at primary and has some mild additional needs. She did suffer bullying but not by the boys involved in this incident.

She attends a different school to them now but a group of boys she was in primary with but didn't really have anything to do with, although she was friends with one of the boys siblings, have been (in my opinion) harassing her for months on the way to or from school if they see her.

Some of it is really petty stuff like shouting her name in a stupid way, shouting stuff at her, making silly noises when she walks past but also some sexual undertones (i.e asking if she will do sexual acts on them, touch their balls etc) and dd finds it very intimidating.
She will be going a different way from September so it shouldn't be an issue on the school route but I am still annoyed.

Today a group of them were at the local shop when I was and they rode at the back of me past our home (they know where we live at it is very near the primary). They waited a few minutes until I went in and then not realising I was still in the hall one of them punched the door glass hard. Luckily it is toughened glass.

I know the boys current school and the boys names so I am wondering really WWYD

OP posts:

Report

Nevaehsmum · 25/08/2016 16:18

How old is your DD and these boys? And how long ago did she leave their school? Seems a bit odd. Report it to the police as the could've damaged your property. The school won't do anything about it. Your daughter isn't a student anymore and it was outside of school.

pianoshark · 25/08/2016 16:21

All the boys involved will be in year 9 in September so all 13ish.
So not in school with them for the last two years!

I simply said about their current school as although not today usually the incidents happen when they are in full school uniform and close to their school.

OP posts:

pianoshark · 25/08/2016 16:22

Initially dd got a lift to and from school with a friend at her new school before the friend moved so it only really started in the last few months when she started walking to and from school and the routes cross.

OP posts:

aginghippy · 25/08/2016 16:56

I would report it to the police. The behaviour is not happening at school, so it's not a school issue. It's a pattern of behaviour and is designed to cause your dd distress or fear. Definitely a police matter.

turnaroundbrighteyes · 25/08/2016 17:01

Your poor dd, she really does need you to step in and stop this. I probably would try the headteacher in the first instance, they may do nothing and thats fine as its out of school, but most good ones would take action especially if they are representing the school (in uniform). If not, or if it escalates then I dont think you have any option but to contact the police and show your daughter it's not okay for her to be harrassed and intimidated, ever.

SeenYourArse · 25/08/2016 17:15

You absolutely MUST contact the police they are just on the edge of the age when a good talking too from a policeman and their parents will work! Don't let it escalate

AdmiralData · 25/08/2016 17:20

Cheeky little bastard.
I'm furious on your behalf.
Do you think it's acceptable for these boys to be shouting sexual and vile things at your barely teenage daughter AND whacking your door?
Involve the police. Sort it out now.

OhAndIPaintMyselfBlue · 25/08/2016 17:21

Report to the police. Now.

travellinglighter · 25/08/2016 17:23

Definitely try the headteacher and mention the harassment and attempted vandalism. Explain your next step will be the police due to the sexual nature of the harassment. Nothing like potentially having pupils on a sex offenders register to wake a headmaster up. Name names and say you have a diary of when and where the offences happened (even if you don't) it shows you're serious.

ImperialBlether · 25/08/2016 17:25

It's sexual harassment, if nothing else. I would speak to the police and get them to have a word with the boys in their own homes with their parents present.

magoria · 25/08/2016 17:25

There are exposing your DD to sexual and now physical aggression.

Go to the police before they maybe take it further.

Chunkamatic · 25/08/2016 17:26

There's not a lot the headteacher will be able to do. It's school holidays and they are not all at same school.
This is a police matter I would call 101 now and get it reported before it escalates further.

pianoshark · 25/08/2016 17:53

Thanks. I wondered if I was being dramatic contacting the police but I don't see why dd should have to put up with this crap.

OP posts:

ElsieMc · 25/08/2016 18:32

Yes, you must do something about this. People will often tell you that the police won't do anything but two lads hurt my youngest gs last year and I stepped in.

He had been to the local shop and came back very upset. Two local lads had jostled him, trying to take his money and when he told them to stop they both spat full in his face. He was seven years old. I was incensed on his behalf and went out after them. I asked them what they thought they were doing and they initially denied it. I said I would follow them home and find out where they lived or make it my business to find out because I was not going to let it go. It led to me being called a c and then pushed over and spat at. One told me he would have me beaten up.

My dd told me to let it go but I wouldn't. A passerby stopped to help me and she was furious. I reported to police and they asked how old I thought the kids were. They told me they were only 9 so I could do nothing, but it was clear they were older.

The officer I got was weak, stating they are only 11 and have never been in trouble before. I told him I didn't believe him because you don't just start out at that level. I emailed Police headquarters and he was told to deal with it. He soon got the names.

My instincts were right, they had previous and received a youth caution at my insistence for an assault on me and more importantly on my gs.

Show your dd that she counts and insist something is done about these horrible boys who think it is ok to shout sexual comments at your vulnerable dd and make her afraid to walk home from school.
They have now upped the ante and approached her home where she should feel safe and could have broken your window.

I don't recommend anyone else takes the course of action I did particularly, adrenalin just took over but I am glad I insisted the police took action. Believe me, there will be a history.

kali110 · 25/08/2016 18:43

Good for you elsie !!

mrsfuzzy · 25/08/2016 18:48

your dd today someone else tomorrow and the day after and so on, report it and not only will you be standing up for dd but also perhaps other potential victims won't be affected by this shit, it is nasty, vicious and needs stopping pdq.

PJBanana · 25/08/2016 19:10

Imagine if this was happening in a workplace. Every time a woman walks past, the men ask her for sexual favours. Not on at all.

They sound absolutely vile, I know teenage lads can be stupid but I can honestly say I didn't know any who said stuff like this to people on the street.

I'd contact the police. At the least it's harassment. At worst it's verbal sexual harassment.

Nataleejah · 25/08/2016 19:55

Contact parents if you know them?

junebirthdaygirl · 25/08/2016 20:18

I would contact police today about them coming up and banging on your door. So cheeky. Then when you are talking to them tell them how they are intimidating your dd. They need frightening. I presume you know their names from school so tell all to the police. Brats!!

magoria · 25/08/2016 20:32

I would avoid their parents. You don't know where they learned this behaviour or how their parents could react. It could make things far worse.

Let the professionals deal with it how they need to.

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