To feel frustrated and irritated by this total head in sand attitude?(1 Post)
A friend (not overly close ) has had MS since she was a young adult. She is now in her 60's. Thank heavens she hasn't had many flare ups over the years but she does have smallish ones every year or two.
She and her DH have absolutely no back up plans in place for when she has remissions. Doesn't see GP, contact MS nurse, has no aids to make life easier, live in a house that isn't suitable for someone with mobility problems.
Her DH has had worrying bouts of poor health over the last decade, so there is a real likelihood that as time goes on he will need hospital admissions or be unable to do things round the house/drive etc.
Her DH has to go away for a few nights and friend has had slight relapse. She phoned asking what I was doing over the next few days and I know she would like me to move in till her DH is back. I'm not well at moment but can do it. But that deals with this time. My argument is what about next time if a remission coincides with me being away (I visit family a lot) or not well enough or have appointments etc and can't be available.
Friends have gently said time and time again that they need to have the security of a plan in place for if extra care is needed. Money isn't an issue. There are no family that can step in. But however many times this subject comes up, nothing is ever acted upon. This time I just didn't have the energy or see the point in saying that it would be a really good idea to make contingency plans. No matter who talks this through with her, and no matter how many times (over last 10 years this has come up at least once a year), nothing will ever get done. No proper medical care, no grips to get in and out of bath or shower, no downstairs sofa bed etc for when going upstairs might not be possible.
So when I got a phonecall today asking about this week, I felt guilty feeling irritated and frustrated, but I just did. As our group of friends has got older we all have health conditions that mean we have had to make an increasing amount of adjustments. But she just won't. I have no idea if anything can be done to help her realise this is becoming more immediate. She has had friends out to her on Christmas Day because she couldn't get up the stairs and another time to get her out the bath. I just don't feel it's fair. No one minds helping out but not being on call because there's no plans in place for emergencies. Am I being shitty to feel irritated?
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