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To wonder how you deal with dickhead managers.

(10 Posts)
abbinobb Tue 23-Aug-16 01:35:24

I have the biggest twat of a supervisor ever at work. He talks to me like I am either 5 years old or stupid. I'm not stupid. It's a simple job in a shop.
I am however quiet and scared of confrontation and I think he is a dickhead to me because he thinks I won't do anything/say anything back.
E.g I asked him where the spare labels were kept, instead of just saying where they were he showed me, said
"oh do I have to do everything for you? They're here. On the box with labels written on it obviously. Was it really that hard? Do you want me to wipe you're arse for you as well?"
Turns out it was a faulty batch of labels and the printer kept getting jammed, I didn't know that because it was the first time I'd used it so I asked him if I was putting it in wrong or something. He goes off on one and calls me an attention seeker and makes me look like an idiot in front of everyone confused

He also said I was too quiet for his liking and that at first he thought I was a horrible person but now he thinks I'm probably not, apparently. He literally had no reason to think Im horrible, I never say anything mean to anyone, ever.
To make it worse his brother also works there and is a supervisor as well and now seems to have a problem with me too. None of the other supervisors have a problem with me at all. His brother did an "observation" on me and said I didn't ask the customer for a loyalty card and I know full well I did because I saw him standing there with a clipboard and made sure I asked everyone.
It feels like bullying and he made me cry because I was so frustrated that he was saying I didn't do something when I know I did.
I'm so sick of it, if either of them are working I always end up crying after work because I can't seem to cope with being treated like an idiot when I'm not and I can't seem to stand up for myself at all.

Aibu to think this isn't fair/wonder how I should deal with it?

shiteattheseaside Tue 23-Aug-16 01:41:28

Wow he seems like an absolute dick.

Can you get the hr number off a collegue? I would reccord every insident and write times and dates and ifbhe really does become a reoccurring issue then you can speak to them with this evidence.

In the meantime try and not let him treat you like a doormat, i.e: if he says oh do i have to do everything for you, reply with "just making sure im doing everything correctly" and anytime he says anything just reply with how you are just trying to get on with the work in hand.

Ask your other co workers if theres ever been an issue or how they find him/deal with him...

shiteattheseaside Tue 23-Aug-16 01:44:24

Also, would confronting them make a difference? If you took them to one side and said "do you have a problem with me" they would probably be taken back and say no, might help with them knowing that your not just going to accept their behaviour i know its easier aaid than done if your shy flowers

Pinkangel23 Tue 23-Aug-16 01:51:54

Oh gosh it sounds awful OP. Are they supervisors or managers? And is it a small or large company you work for? In my work we have a few different levels of management and I think supervisors can be worse, throwing their weight about. This is bullying and you definitely need to complain to the store manager and get a written record of events, however a lot of the time managers get away with bad behaviour. I work in a shop/restaurant and recently moved stores to a much bigger one and am finding it difficult- both managers and staff just kicking off, I almost left in tears last week. Sometimes if supervisor/manager been recently promoted the power goes to their head too and if they are popular amongst other staff their behaviour goes unchecked.

You could also contact Acas for employment advice, I'm sure another poster will have more info soon. Please take care flowers

Kidsrulethishouse Tue 23-Aug-16 02:05:19

What is the general consensus there? Are they both generally well liked by other staff?

abbinobb Tue 23-Aug-16 02:10:32

kids no, well the main twatty one definitely isn't well liked, he seems to be perfectly reasonable to most of the men though, probably because they'd punch him if he spoke like that to them. But people moan about him a lot but he seems to have more of a problem with me than the others

ilovesooty Tue 23-Aug-16 03:43:26

It feels like bullying because it is. angry

Are you in a union?

Merrymumoftwo Tue 23-Aug-16 07:04:24

You are being bullied. Record incidents and if other staff are present make a note and ask them if they will be a witness to what happened. I would also ask for a meeting, bring a union rep or trusted colleague and raise in that meeting about their manner and ask if they have a problem with you. If this does not work contact your HR and ask to put in a grievance against them. Unfortunately the only effective way to deal with a bully is to use the rules on your side to stand up to them. Good luck

echelon Tue 23-Aug-16 09:27:49


I work in HR and what you have described is workplace bullying. 100% you are being bullied by this man.

It's not ok and it's not acceptable, and you do not have to put up with it.

Please do not take this anymore. Bullying in the workplace is unacceptable, illegal, and bullies rely on their victims to be too scared or timid to put an end to it.
Contact your union if you are a member, failing that you can escalate a grievance to HR with the details eg times dates what was said, EVERY time this man speaks rudely to you. If there are witnesses, all the better.

Make today the first day you start doing something about this.
If he starts on you again, hold up your hand and say firmly, "Do NOT talk to me like that. It's disrespectful and unprofessional. I will be lodging a complaint if you continue."

Thinking of you OP. I know it's a horrible situation to be in, but the guy is a bully and you have to stand up to bullies. He will carry on if nothing is done.

DanielCraigsUnderpants Tue 23-Aug-16 10:19:16

The advice you have above is very sensible. I've been in a similar situation.

My own little quiet revenge, was making my bully a cup of tea with my own special infusion- the bag went straight up my arse and I smiled sweetly as she drank it down.

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