AIBU to want to teach DS1 a lesson?

[RaggyDoll1]

Ds1 is 14 and I'm worried about him.
He can be so mean to younger siblings and rude. He has no people skills whatsoever.
I've noticed people raising an eyebrow at his behaviour.
I give him chores to do, limit screen time, take an interest in his hobbies and take him to clubs. I speak to him a lot but I have 4 other kids who are much nicer, get on well and need me too. When he comes into the room he upsets and teases the little ones. It's not fair that the one who acts up gets the most attention.

How can I help Him?

[hazeimcgee]

Have you asked him why he winds up the lo's?
Is there a big gap between them in age?
Is he the only ine expected to do chores?

[VestalVirgin]

Get professional help.

If you don't think it is just teenage behaviour, and from what you write, it doesn't seem like he suddenly became like this in his teens, and you are perfectly able to bring your other 4 children up to be nice people, it is likely that he has some kind of problem that the average parent is not equipped to deal with.

[RaggyDoll1]

Thanks for the replies, he shies away from chores, which is normal but his younger brother takes on the lion share which is not fair. I have to tell younger do no stop that's ds1's job.
We give him more time than the others, the younger 3 are so easy going. His behaviour seems like autistic /as perverse but he has been ruled out. It's just bad behaviour I'm afraid and I don't know what to do, I've tried being really strict. And I've tried being really soft. He doesn't understand how his behaviour hurts others.

[Mishaps]

I do not think that the expression "teach him a lesson" is appropriate. It implies an action between equals, which you are not. He is a child who is having problems - he needs help. I am sorry you are having to deal with this trying behaviour.

[RaggyDoll1]

Sorry meant aspergers not as perverse.

[RaggyDoll1]

G.P ruled out any syndromes and said just carry on working with him, some kids are harder than others.