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To feel uncomfortable in my own house when we have guests and want to hide away

(10 Posts)
LimeLeaves Sat 06-Aug-16 21:57:02

AIBU to always get dressed/showered/teeth brushed before going into the living room/kitchen? To not want to talk to people when I've just woken up? To not want people into our bedroom even if it's just MIL wanting to get baby's clothes/changing mat/look at baby etc?

They are DH's family, here for a few weeks. They are lovely but I crave space and privacy and quiet.

I get up at 6am, make my breakfast and eat it in bedroom. I hate eating breakfast in a large group. When everyone has theirs later I focus on serving them and feeding DS.

DH thinks I'm being very U.
I do make an effort to chat and look after them and we go on daytrips.

Crunchymum Sat 06-Aug-16 21:59:24

No of course YANBU

How old is the baby and how much space do you have?

HarryPottersMagicWand Sat 06-Aug-16 22:02:46

A few weeks! Fuck that, no YANBU. Luckily we don't have house guests but I'd hate it, certain members of my own family I'd be fine with but DH's family and some of mine, nope. Even after a couple of hours I prefer people to leave unless it's friends and we're having a catch up.

Ellioru Sat 06-Aug-16 22:03:18

You are entitled to your space.

I would be very very angry at people entering my bedroom - total disrespect for privacy.

IpanemaChica Sat 06-Aug-16 22:07:52

I'm like this with my in laws and even close friends staying over with their partners. With my own parents it's fine though, I usually perch on their bed in the morning for a chat over a cup of tea while the dc get in the bed with them. My dh thinks we are a bit weird smile.

Do you have a dog? I always escape on my own for a while using the dog needs a walk excuse.

NicknameUsed Sat 06-Aug-16 22:10:33

A few weeks is a long time to have visitors, even people you like. Do they have to stay so long?

KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes Sat 06-Aug-16 22:10:59

A few weeks?

I'd be digging a hole in the garden to sit in for a bit of peace.

Totally with you. I need quiet to recharge. Random people all over the place would drive me nuts.

ButteredToastAndStrawberryJam Sat 06-Aug-16 22:11:47

I don't think you're being U, a few weeks is way too long, a week tops I'd say. Do your family visit for this long, if so, what does your husband think of that.

cobaltblue27 Sat 06-Aug-16 22:16:56

Totally understandable. I don't like anyone going in our room and especially not in-laws. I also hate eating with them and seeing them first thing!

One thing to think about is that they won't be deliberately trying to intrude and it won't be intentional to make you feel uncomfortable. I go out of my way to give people space and make them feel comfortable if they are staying with me and so does the rest of my family. But not everyone has grown up thinking the same things are impprtant...my husband's family are very different and insisted on coming to visit the day after I got home from hospital after my son was born after I'd had a really tricky c-section and was struggling with bleeding and feeding etc. I am not close to them at all (MIL and I don't speak now which makes things much easier!) and felt really invaded and upset as they just barged in like a steamroller telling me what time it would be convenient for them to visit! Still can't get over it. But it is how they behave with everyone...

Anyway, short version of this is no, YANBU and I'd find what you describe really hard!

Clankboing Sat 06-Aug-16 22:17:47

A few hours is bad for me. Sometimes my mum will say (with delight in her voice) 'Your dad isn't going to the match today so we can stay a few hours!' and that makes me groan inwardly but days or weeks! No way!

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