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To think I did not need to hear his views on breastfeeding

(15 Posts)
Booboostwo Sat 23-Jul-16 15:22:00

I bf DS who is 2yo, usually once before bed and once in the morning so it's not something other people are aware of or something I bring up in conversation in the normal course of things (I do not deserve a medal, it's a feeding choice that worked for us, I do not have any thoughts on how other people choose to feed their DCs).

We were sitting in a restaurant today and my DCs (5 and 2) started playing with a little boy sitting in the table next to us. The mother of the couple had stepped away and the dad said to me something about the little boy having a lot of energy and I said something like they are all like that at this age. Then the man said his son was still breastfeeding at 2yo and, being an idiot, I also said cheerfully that my 2yo also breast feeds. The dad followed that with saying his son co-slept with his wife and DH pipped up and said we co-sleep as a family. Until that point I thought it was a pleasant exchange on parenting experiences and we'd coincidentally made similar choices which gave us a conversational opening.

Then the dad responded with a tirade against bf, how it ruins DCs, it's impossible to stop, it's made his DS spoiled, etc. culminating with telling me I should stop bf. Clearly he had issues and possibly he should take them up with his wife but AIBU to think he should keep his views to himself? I didn't ask for his opinion, he offered the information first and I assumed we were having a pleasant and inane chat about our kids.

I am not fuming or angry or anything like that, but I do think he was judgey and rude.

Disclaimer: DD has been in and out of hospital all week so maybe I am being touchy.

MollyTwo Sat 23-Jul-16 15:25:15

Meh. It's his opinion. It happened, why are you giving this so much headspace. Unless you intend to see him again just put it down to him being judgey and move on.

StrangeIdeas Sat 23-Jul-16 15:35:48

You are DNBU. He's the one with issues. Maybe he wants his wife's attention and the kid is in the way? Anyway, he's a knob.

BowiesJumper Sat 23-Jul-16 15:37:58

He shouldn't project his negative feelings onto you. What did you respond with??

skatesection Sat 23-Jul-16 15:39:52

Talk about knowing your audience... you'd expect him to go on that sort of rant with someone that didn't do all the stuff he hated, right?
Hoping he's talking to his wife now that he's rehearsed with you. (What a dick).

Only1scoop Sat 23-Jul-16 15:40:35

Sounds like he needs to speak to his wife about his feelings

Not a stranger.

WiMoChi Sat 23-Jul-16 15:51:52

He's a knob. I've had to explain to two NHS professionals and a neighbour today that it's fine that I BF my 2 year old whilst being pregnant and how it all works. All I wanted was anti Biotics and some sympathy (mastitis) 🙄

Booboostwo Sat 23-Jul-16 15:53:42

I just mumbled something about it all turning out all right in the end. The DCs were playing, really happily, next to us, so it was not a good time to tell him what an idiot he was, plus I hate confrontation.

CoolCarrie Sat 23-Jul-16 16:15:43

You handled it fine, no need for you to defend your decisions, and as you say the dc were enjoying themselves. He clearly has issues, not your problem!

Maybebabybee Sat 23-Jul-16 16:18:07

Hats off to you sharing the bed with all of them...some nights I barely want DH in the bed with me, let alone the DC grin

Benedikte2 Sat 23-Jul-16 16:34:07

Mmmnnnn. His problem not yours. Your family is happy with the arrangements and you aren't preachy about it.
He is unhappy with his family's arrangements and was probably surprised to find you had the same ideas as his wife. He was in hind sight looking for someone to commiserate with him on what is a private matter between himself and his wife. I worry about his future relationship with his 2 year old DS. -- still a virtual baby yet appears to be resented and regarded as ruined. Wonder if wife's reason for co-sleeping is partly to keep Her DH at a distance!
You handled the situation well Boo. Have a great summer with your family.

Booboostwo Sat 23-Jul-16 20:23:26

In think you are spot on Benedikte2 he was looking for someone to commiserate and of all of Greece he bumped into someone more bonkers than his wife!

Benedikte2 Tue 02-Aug-16 10:12:06

I like that! Keep your sense of humour Boo!

Missgraeme Tue 02-Aug-16 10:34:02

Sounds like his rant was meant for his wife!!

Iwasjustabouttosaythat Tue 02-Aug-16 10:51:12

Ugh, I feel sorry for his wife, taking care of their child and being told she's spoiling him. How can a 2 year old be spoiled ffs? Although maybe his wife lives in blissful ignorance while he just tells every random stranger in cafes. Tough crowd wink

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