I have a friend who I met a few summers ago through something child related. However although I value her friendship on an adult level it soon become apparent to me that this would not be the kind of friendship where the children would all enjoy each other's company. I've tried and tried but her older ( but still young ) child is rude, has frequent tantrums beyond what my younger child has had for years and my friend is quite different at dealing with it than i would. Her choice - she never says no- that's up to her and her partner have they choose to parent their children. It's frustrating but I bite my tongue unless asked for advice.
My children enjoy seeing them for very very short periods infrequently. My older child who needs strict boundaries otherwise he can't bring himself back down to normal behaviour. Sweets etc drive him wild do need to be monitored ( but not forbidden!). The way they get whipped up when with my friends child makes it tricky afterwards at home (undiagnosed ADHD- we are getting there). My younger child is quite unforgiving of friends child's tantrums, refusal to share, share TVprogramme etc after about an hour or so and make her disappointment know. Friend does nothing to intervene except minimise his behaviour- he's tired, he's been looking forward to watching TV etc etc.
Friend thinks they all have a blast together- truth is my children have become increasingly reluctant to see them. In fact asking if x will be there ( younger child happy to go and see her younger child if older child not there).
Until now I'm made us busy,family time, skint, blamed my older son undiagnosed ADHD for reasons not to meet up in half terms. However it's a bit embarrassing now.
I can't tell her the truth. She'll be so hurt but how can I make this less awkward.
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AIBU?
To refuse to meet up with friend in school holidays with children.
17 replies
Trickyfriend · 22/07/2016 10:58
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