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AIBU?

Pictures on Facebook

21 replies

libertysilk · 18/07/2016 22:37

Met a friends cousin, and she took some photos, of me and my little one, with my friend and her lo's. Friend says she's uploaded the photots onto Facebook.
I didn't give my consent, and feel she could have asked. Friend thinks I'm overreacting and she doesn't mind, as its only pictures.
AIBU to be annoyed, as its only pictures of my lo and friend says she doesn't mind at all. Friend has says she will ask her cousin to remove the photo's, but made me feel like I was being totally unreasonable.

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redpinkblue · 18/07/2016 22:43

I'd probably not care that much tbh.

I don't cover my face or my DC when I step out the door in public so they can't be seen so I'd struggle to get annoyed at their picture being on Facebook.

Each to their own though and if you want them removed the.mb you've done the right thing

pegomassive1 · 18/07/2016 22:46

I wouldn't mind. In this day of direct social media it's pretty impossible to avoid your kids being uploaded once in a while. Many people don't ask for consent before posting pics of their day out etc I've never asked for consent. Do you have facebook/social media at all?

Heratnumber7 · 18/07/2016 22:49

There's no law about taking someones photo, and a photo of your DCs face on FB is no different from their actual face in the actual world IMO.

What is it that concerns you about photos on FB?

Mewtoo · 18/07/2016 22:50

Facebook is completely different to being out in public, that's ridiculous. It's not obligatory to have your kids on Facebook, much as people might try and make it so.

SouperSal · 18/07/2016 22:50

Your consent isn't needed.

lotsoffunandgames · 18/07/2016 22:51

I agree with op. I have no pics online of me or my kids.I have asked friends a few times to take down photos of mine at a party if their face is showing.I hate it.I felt silly too but was uncomfortable with the pics being online for all to see.once it's online anyone can use it.I have seen trolls on here upload other people's kids pics for a troll post.

Mewtoo · 18/07/2016 22:52

"Your consent isn't needed"

Well, no. But it's a bit shit not too.

Heratnumber7 · 18/07/2016 22:54

I know FB isn't real life. But what is the problem with having photos on FB? Anyone can take your photo if you're walking along the street and do whatever they like with it.

Muskateersmummy · 18/07/2016 22:55

I tend to judge by what I see the person post. If they post pictures of their children on their fb then I will post them on their wall. If they don't or I'm not sure then I will either ask them if they want me to, or pm the photos over to them. I think she should have checked before uploading pics of you and your dc.

Evergreen17 · 18/07/2016 23:03

I dont post pics of other people on facebook without asking for permission.
And I never post pics of children.

I have asked people to take pics down before so I dont think it is a problem for you to ask.

M00nUnit · 18/07/2016 23:12

It wouldn't bother a lot of people but the fact is it does bother you and it would be perfectly reasonable of you to ask this person to take the pictures down. I know several people who don't allow photos of their kids on Facebook for whatever reason and it's quite likely your friends cousin knows several too so she wouldn't think it weird if you were to ask her to remove them. I always check with people before I post any photos that have their kids in. It's good etiquette IMO.

PhoneboothCF · 18/07/2016 23:17

If you pose for a photograph by someone else you have no control over where they end up. Don't have your pic taken if you object to people seeing them whether on social media or an old fashioned photograph.

elliejjtiny · 18/07/2016 23:18

I always ask before posting photos of other people on facebook, or mostly just post photos of my own dc (if you looked at my facebook photos you'd think we often have parties where nobody turned up!)

I don't mind if people put photos of me/the dc on facebook. It's the words I have an objection to, like announcing my baby's birth before I do or when someone implies that they look after my dc all the time when in reality they hardly see them.

butterflylove16 · 18/07/2016 23:22

I think she should have checked. DH & I don't allow photos of dd on facebook because of dh's job - he's probably just being a bit paranoid but I respect & understand it & this is something we agree on. Also some of our family/friends have nearly 1000 facebook friends, we don't know who all of those people are & don't wish for them to see what our dd's been up to. But I accept that we are just fairly private people (don't really post much ourselves), & most people I know would have no issue with it which is fine too.

Ifonlylovewouldsavetheday · 18/07/2016 23:27

If someone takes pics it's almost a given that they are taking them to post on social media. Why would a friend's cousin take photos for a private collection? That would be very strange. I think when people get phones out to take pics, it is at that point you need to say you don't want any pics posting. They will just take pics of where you are and post these instead.

OlennasWimple · 18/07/2016 23:57

Once upon a time everyone had "private collections", except we called them "albums" (or shoe boxes)

If you don't want your DC on Facebook, you shouldn't be made to feel U of you ask politely for them to be removed

trafalgargal · 19/07/2016 01:40

Why would you pose for photos knowing they'd likely end up on FB.
If you didn't tell the person snapping about your personal rule at the time then it's unreasonable to be annoyed as the norm is unless told otherwise posed photos are OK to stick on FB. It may be polite to ask but not everyone sees it that way so it is reasonable to make sure they know at the time.

trafalgargal · 19/07/2016 02:13

That doesn't mean you aren't reasonable to ask them to be removed though.

libertysilk · 19/07/2016 07:31

I think the fact she took photo's of my lo without my knowledge and then posted pictures annoyed me. I generally don't mind friends posting pictures. But, I met this lady once, and then discover she's taken lots of photo's without my knowledge of my lo and posted to facebook. I'm not friends with her on facebook, so can't see what pictures she did take. And, my friend mentioned when she took a photo of the two of us, that she hoped they wouldn't end up on Facebook, as she felt she looked sunburnt etc. So.....

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redpinkblue · 19/07/2016 10:46

I'm not following..on your original post you said she took pics of you and your little one. Were you not aware that she was taking your picture?

libertysilk · 19/07/2016 13:42

I wasn't aware she was taking photo's of my lo.

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