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AIBU?

To be utterly fed up with my son

5 replies

lilybetsy · 12/07/2016 10:58

My eldest DS is almost 18. He did no work for GCSE and failed all but 3. He went back to college to repeat, did no work again and may scrape one of the 5 he sat. He will not get the others as he did not complete the course work . He spends all his time with his horrible girlfriend, she is 2 years older and manipulative in the extreme. When I called her on it she tried to hit me. She has been kicked out of her own home and lives on a mates sofa ... This is where DS spends all of his time. I do not give him money (since college ended) he doesn't seem to care. He is not applying for jobs or apprenticeships and is never at home so I can't help him. He contributes nothing at all to this house, and lies ALL the time. I've had enough and i want him to engage with the family, start living life in a reasonable way or leave ... AIBU.?

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grannytomine · 12/07/2016 11:00

No of course not but he is an adult so not much you can do other than wait, amazing how they can change in a few years. Fingers crossed for you.

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ssd · 12/07/2016 11:01

no YANBU, sounds really hard

but I think you should have a look at the teenagers section on here, there's really good advice from some posters who have been through a lot with their kids and know exactly what you are talking about, you would get better advice then here on AIBU

good luck op

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Ifailed · 12/07/2016 11:03

sounds like someone I know (eldest DS). All I can say is he is now engaged to a lovely women and they are looking for somewhere to buy together, both are in work. He's now 25, turned the corner at about 20.
There is hope!

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PlugUgly · 12/07/2016 11:21

I know it's hard but 18 is SO young these days and he will be all over the place mentally, please keep the lines of communication open and let him know he ALWAYS has a home with you if he needs it, he'll find his way in time but for now I am afraid you will have to take a deep breath and let him make all his own mistakes and try not to judge too harshly.
Bit late for me to say but NEVER criticise your DS partner no matter what the provocation...you will always come off as the bad guy

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lilybetsy · 12/07/2016 12:01

I am struggling to watch this. Its like a car crash unfolding. he WILL NOT listen to me or take any advice, so he's not getting any job/ apprentice interviews and is literally just dossing the days away. And I try not to criticise her (the GF) but after she tried to hit me I will not see her nor have her in my house either ...