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Aibu to consider going away and leaving teen ds's woth 20 year old sibling?

(14 Posts)
Pineapplechunkster Sun 10-Jul-16 23:41:15

Have namechanged. Wibu to go away for 3 weeks and leave my 14 and 13 year olds with their 20 year old sister? She has offered to do it, is very responsible ect. I am not sure. Firstly would it even be legal?

corythatwas Sun 10-Jul-16 23:51:56

What do you mean legal??? An adult being in charge of children??? Isn't that the normal way of things??? Now, if you have said go away and leave them under the care of my goldfish...

At 20 she is well old enough to be married and have a family of her own. Or start a business. Or buy a house. Or stand for parliament.

Nobody outside the family could possibly have a problem with this arrangement.

Naturally, like any other arrangement, you need to take your own personal circumstances into account. Do you trust your younger dc to behave for her? Do you trust her to actually hang around and do the job (not that she will be required to do much). If you trust everybody concerned and they are happy for you to go, sounds absolutely fine.

Pineapplechunkster Mon 11-Jul-16 00:00:25

Thank you cory
I thought it would be fine legally, but need to make absolutely sure as have a very overbearing family member that likes to cause maximum drama (call police/social services) if they feel things aren't what they would be happy with.

OnesieTheQueensSelfie Mon 11-Jul-16 00:01:49

Go on your holiday safe in the knowledge that it is all above board!

Pineapplechunkster Mon 11-Jul-16 00:06:35

Thank you onesie

trafalgargal Mon 11-Jul-16 00:13:06

I'd only do it if the twenty year old was ok with dealing with flack from the family members you mention.

Pineapplechunkster Mon 11-Jul-16 00:24:00

trafalgar I would head off family member by telling them legally they can do nothing as it is all above board. That is a conversation I would ensure took place well in advance if I go.

StillMedusa Mon 11-Jul-16 00:25:34

Well I left my autistic teenager with his older brother (then 22) last year!
The kids clubbed together to send DH and me on our honeymoon for our 25th anniversary to Rome! DS2 needs support in lots of ways but DS1 was up for it.. took a few days off work to care for him (bless other kids were at Uni)

I was a bit nervous but they were fine.. the cats were fed and cared for too, and amazingly the house was tidy! OK DS2 was in pjs when I left and pjs when we got back, butI assume he was dressed in between grin

It's fine to leave a adult in charge!

DeathStare Mon 11-Jul-16 04:43:22

Of course it's legal. And I was about to say I'd do it without a second thought.....

Then I saw your second post! Do you really believe that your family member would call police/social services? It would all come to nothing if they did, but I wouldn't leave a 20 year old to have to deal with that.

Is the "family member" likely to create other hassle for the 20 year old? And does the 20 year old have good support if they do?

Also is the "family member" the children's other parent? Because if they are, they could just come and take the teenagers back to theirs and your 20 year old couldn't legally stop them.

If the family member really would cause this much trouble I'd find another arrangement.

Huldra Mon 11-Jul-16 08:18:18

Yes, it's fine.

Does the family member have to know? Does any of your extended family have to know?

Hereagainalways Mon 11-Jul-16 08:20:50

I'm 27 now but when younger I used to have my younger siblings for my mum all the time - it's totally fine!

Pineapplechunkster Mon 11-Jul-16 14:02:22

deathstare no its not the other parent. The other parent would be fine with arrangement and would check in on household everyday by telephone (lives 200 miles away)

Amammi Mon 11-Jul-16 14:05:17

While its legally ok personally I think 3 week is a bit too long. Can you break the time with the 20 year old in sole charge with trips at the weekend to their other parent?

NavyandWhite Mon 11-Jul-16 14:09:12

I wouldn't for 3 weeks, it's a long time.

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