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DD's dad is being secretive about where they go together. Is he BU or am I?

(4 Posts)
Natsku Sun 10-Jul-16 12:19:16

Need to give background to explain why this bothers me. DD's dad (my ex) suffers from quite serious mental health issues (paranoid delusional disorder) and because of that he has had his visitation limited by Court to just day visits every other Saturday. I had requested (my request was backed up by all the evidence presented in Court from the child protection team involved) that the visits be restricted to take place in my town but the Court order didn't specify that in the end. We requested this because last summer when he had day visits before he took her to a huge forest and got lost, well claimed to get lost but according to DD he had a tent and wanted to camp there overnight with her. After that he went back to the psych ward (after going on a delusional fuelled burglary spree).

So now he has these day visits and isn't technically required to stay in my town but he took DD (5yrs) yesterday far out of town to another town (I know this because I got her a GPS watch in case they get "lost" again but the charge ran out so I didn't know where else they went). At some point in the course of the day DD took her watch off and it got lost so in the evening when I realised she didn't have it I called her dad and asked where they had been so I could go look for it and he just said they had stayed in town the whole time so omitting/lying about where they had been.

Just going out of town in itself wouldn't have bothered me but being secretive about it does, partly because I worry that its a sign his health is getting worse again, and partly because I wonder what else he would be secretive about with her.

MyKingdomForBrie Sun 10-Jul-16 12:23:51

Christ I'd be terrified in your situation, how hard for you and for dd. I have no idea what to suggest apart from going back to court ASAP for a prohibited steps order to stop him taking her unsupervised. I just would not feel this was safe.

icanteven Sun 10-Jul-16 12:24:56

Well, evidently there is a safety issue here, as no matter how much he loves here, there is a strong chance of erratic behaviour that endangers both of them, and you being concerned isn't controlling - it is honest concern for their safety.

Unfortunately, because nothing has actually happened since the incident last summer, and because he is technically staying within the bounds of the court order, I'm not sure what exactly you can do.

Did he remove the watch intentionally, after discovering what it was, do you think?

Natsku Sun 10-Jul-16 12:49:51

My lawyer has made an appeal to Court about the decision already but she said it'll be a long time before we get a hearing and we won't get an emergency order until something actually happens or he breaks the order (returns her very late for example)

He already knew what the watch was as he helped pay for it (after coming out of the psych ward so was on medication and able to cooperate) and she did say she took it off herself.

I'm really worried about the next visit if we don't find it (OH and DD went looking for it this morning in the last places they visited according to DD). She has a normal old-style Nokia phone she can take with her instead but there's no GPS in it and that's even easier for her to forget somewhere (although at least the battery won't die so quickly)

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