AIBU to be hacked off about chicken pox?(20 Posts)
Hello mnetters, I'd really appreciate your perspective as it's possible I'm being a bit hormonal and precious. Also I've not had to deal with any infectious diseases yet (dc not quite 2).
So friends A are old and very good friends of mine, they live about an hour away and recently came to stay with friends B - my neighbours, whose youngest dc plays with mine regularly (they also go to nursery together). I was busy working over weekend so had made no firm plans to see family A. As they were en route friend A casually announced to friend B that their dc2 had just developed chicken pox...but they still stayed in their house all weekend, despite the fact that dc was very poorly, B's dc2 hasn't had it yet and they seemingly were oblivious to hints that maybe they should go home.
My aibu isn't really about this - that's between them and family B - but I'm 34 weeks pregnant, neither my dc or dp have had the pox so we're basically going to have to stay away from this other family (and possibly keep our dc off nursery the next two weeks) as it would be a bit of a disaster for us if they caught it. I really really don't want to be looking after a poorly child and partner in the last bit of my pregnancy, but more importantly is that we avoid infecting a newborn as I gather it can be really serious. AIBU to think they really should have thought a bit about the possible consequences of rocking up with a very infectious child? Or is chicken pox something people are generally quite laid back about?
Difficult one. People do tend to be fairly relaxed about chicken pox, though if my DC had it I wouldn't go to stay with another family without telling them. That's just good manners.
Having said that Family B's DC could just as easily pick chicken pox up at nursery or soft play or from another child visiting who they didn't at the time know to have chicken pox. As could your DC.
If you are that worried about it have you considered paying privately for the vaccination??
This is why I had dc1 vaccinated against chicken pox when I was pregnant with dc2.
I realise any of us could pick it up anytime, but i suppose this is one infection that could so easily have been avoided...i don't really know what chicken pox etiquette is though. We've enquired about the vaccine for dp but because it takes a while to come into effect we were told there's no point. The only thing we can really do is avoid B's child but I don't know if I'm being over-dramatic.
Our nhs trust rolled out the vaccine when my 18yrold was a toddler she got chicken pox at Christmas <sigh> it only lasts 10years. anyway i think people can be to casual with chicken pox and dont think iyswim this is what happened with your friends its really thoughtless imo
Why don't you ask your midwife to check your immunity? If you say you've been in contact with it (just change the story slightly) then they will get the immunity checked on your booking bloods. If you're immune then you don't need to worry.
I'm immune, I'm not worried about me - it's my partner and toddler who haven't had it. As the incubation periods can be quite long I'm worriedit could still be around when dc2 is born.
MrsJayy I don't think it's true that the vaccine only lasts ten years (anymore - it may have been true in the past). I read the same thing on here a while ago and asked my doctor who said no, it is supposed to provide lifelong immunity. From what I read when doing some research for when DD was vaccinated, if children are given two doses of the vaccine I think there is meant to be lifelong immunity for most of them.
I can't find all the things I read but here is what NHS says:
I was told they don't know how long chickenpox vaccine lasts because it is quite new but if you look up measles/rubella etc you'll see they have a set timescale (around 20 years) but everyone considers the one given to teenagers to be the last one needed for lifelong immunity.
That's interesting fuzzyowl and from some random googling that's what seems to be the case; nobody knows. I remember asking the doctor if DD would need boosters in the future and she said no she wouldn't. Obviously that isn't right or at least she wouldn't have known if that was right.
If you are immune then your baby will have passive immunity from you for a few weeks and longer if you bf.
I was pretty careful to keep my kids away from others when they had the pox but I wouldn't have thought to worry about friends of friends. Eg we visited our friends one day - they have an 11 month old and they said they weren't bothered about us coming as she was going to get it eventually. It didn't occur to me to consider the feelings of our friends next door neighbours! I think you are being a bit unreasonable it's not like they brought their infected child to your house.
Like pp says extremely rare for a baby under six months to catch chicken pox if their mother is immune.
I'd like to tell my chickenpox story.
My then 3 year old caught it first of a child who didn't know he was ill. He was under the weather for a few days, then his temp shot up. He couldn't move, he became doubly incontinent for a week and the spots covered every inch of him save the soles of his feet. They took weeks to heal and more than two years later he still has a few scars.
He got off easy compared to a friend who caught it at the same time. He had it very badly too and one of the spots became infected and he ended up hospitalised. Minor childhood illness? Not always!
My then four month old caught it. So much for breast feeding giving him immunity! It didn't, he had lots of massive spots and still has some big scars. If I'd known earlier about the vaccination I'd have happily paid for it. Lots of people, including medical professionals assured me that as I was breastfeeding exclusively my youngest wouldn't get it. Wrong!
I hope you escape this time round op.
I take your point grouchy mare but these aren't just friends of friends - they are people I consider amongst my oldest and best friends and if I hadn't been working we would all have spent time together over the weekend. I was feeling very cross that they'd put their weekend away ahead of the impact it might all have on their friends (including us). That's good to know about the passive immunity - the nurse I spoke to at our surgery didn't tell me about that.
Funnily enough, both of mine were vaccinated at 12 months (we lived overseas at the time and it was mandatory) yet have both just had it last week. It was much milder than normal (as a result of the vaccination) - in fact, DS only had 6 spots in total which I actually thought were bites... And sent him to school all week as a result! It was only when DD started breaking out a week later did we realise (via the gp) that they were chickenpox. Even she had it mild with perhaps 50 spots in total. She was miserable for a couple of days until we managed to get piriton in her (she has always refused to take medicine) but by day 3 she was bouncing around and all spots had scabbed over by day 5 (which meant she was no longer contagious).
The gp assured us that while she was contagious she was only a real threat to pregnant women who had never had it (it could affect their unborn baby). I've also done my own internet research and it seems to be actively encouraged for children to get it sooner rather than later....
But, that said, it is probably the last thing you want to deal with in your state - I just wanted to assure you that you and your baby should not be in any danger.... But I would avoid both families for a while.
It's not true that there is no point in having it. You can have a dose post exposure that reduces the risk of developing it, and the full course is 4 weeks apart, and then they're fully immunised.
stevie I read it on here about the 10 years tbf it was years ago and i cant quite remember if she got 2 doses or 1
I can understand your worry, I think YANBU, within my friends we have always warned people if a child has chicken pox and stayed away if appropriate. I think it's poor form not to let people you are visiting know in advance if anyone has a contagious illness.
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