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to ask ex for more child maintenance

(14 Posts)
letsstaytogether Mon 20-Jun-16 20:55:58

Hello MNers
My rent going up by £115 pcm! I work 25 hrs PW & get some housing benefit. Me & DC are currently comfortable (although I shop in Aldi & charity shops & hardly ever out in the eve) but from August things will be tight. Ex hasn't put maintenance up ever in two years. I've asked him to up it by £50 per month. He is ignoring my email (as usual)
Really don't want to move as DC school nearby & friends. But really need extra money to remain here.
I know Ex will challenge the increase. His parents are loaded - AIBU to ask for the increase (which matches online calculator) He earns a very good salary (at least twice what I earn) - not sure what I can do if he refuses confused

letsstaytogether Mon 20-Jun-16 20:58:16

Sorry. Not sure why I wrote that his parents are loaded. Perhaps that's my subconscious wanting to ask them to contribute if he won't?! Feel really stressed about this...

FetchezLaVache Mon 20-Jun-16 20:59:32

Are you going through the CSA at the moment?

letsstaytogether Mon 20-Jun-16 21:25:41

He pays me directly every month (occasionally I have to remind him to pay) but he's pretty consistent

MadisonMontgomery Mon 20-Jun-16 21:29:57

Just go through the CSA or whatever it's called now.

PoundingTheStreets Mon 20-Jun-16 21:37:35

Of course you're not being unreasonable to ask. Maintenance is supposed to cover the costs of housing a child as well as feeding/clothing them, etc. A decent parent would want to minimise disruption to his child's life and assist the parent with care to continue living in the same house so that the child can attend the same school, etc.

All that said, being totally reasonable asking doesn't mean you'll get it, nor that he's unreasonable if he says no (depending on why and what his disposable income is).

Crispbutty Mon 20-Jun-16 21:39:27

Will housing benefit help any further with the increase?

Oswin Mon 20-Jun-16 21:42:51

So you want him to pay the minimum suggested by the csa. You are so not U.

If he behaves like a dick then go straight to the csa.

He's been underpaying for years.
Disgraceful man.

MsVestibule Mon 20-Jun-16 21:52:00

Just go straight to the new CSA. I really wouldn't bother engaging with him anymore about it.

letsstaytogether Mon 20-Jun-16 21:54:24

Thanks all
No can't get any more housing benefit
So (sorry to sound stupid) if he refuses to pay the extra, can the CSA 'strongly encourage' him to do so?

Kungfupandaworksout16 Mon 20-Jun-16 22:25:19

The only thing you need to be wary of is you go through the CSA road it could work out less, because they can easily fib about their finicial circumstance. It happened to my sister , her ex earned over £30,000 a year who lived at home didn't pay rent (you're getting the idea)
He lied to the CSA crying poverty and he was in X amount of debt , gave bogus out goings and ended up actually paying less than what he originally was. All because they took his word as gospel and didn't follow up on his claims. He was originally paying her £200 a month now only pays her £105! And now you have to pay to get a claim started and they actually take a tiny bit out of each payment so think wisely smile

EatShitDerek Mon 20-Jun-16 22:28:20

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Oswin Tue 21-Jun-16 01:24:10

Eatshit he's not really gonna starve paying what 12 percent of his wage to support his child. He has been paying 6 percent so far.

I'm guessing the op spends a at least 10 times that on the dc already.

tralaaa Tue 21-Jun-16 07:32:09

I would explain to him what you have put in here that you are going to struggle and the support from him has been the same for 2 years

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