to ask for some reassurance.(9 Posts)
My lovely family and I were in a major smash on the motorway earlier this year. Traffic had come to a standstill when we were hit from behind at over 70mph. I don't know how we walked away but we did. My DP managed to get our car off the motorway. As long as I live I will never forget the look of fear on my children's faces.
Tonight my DP and DC have gone to a party (I have a night shift). My anxiety is going through the roof. I have been sick twice. I know they have arrived safely and DP will call me when they are home. I know that the chances of anything happening is small. But I am freaking out badly.
I have to get through this and I have to get to work because I am slowly losing my freedom because of this anxiety and fear about their safety.
I'm so sorry you are feeling this way.
My Dp was hit by a scania 20 ton lorry at 40mph. Dp was stationary. The whole thing ended up as a 5 car pile up. He was ok but struggled for a long time with vehicles approaching from behind. please ask if you can have some counselling to help you cope until things start to settle for you.
Can you go home sick from work? You need to rest if you are feeling so awful
You definitely need to speak to your GP about counselling. My dm had a very nasty accident a few years ago where the car in front had no lights on, it was dark very foggy and she never saw him stop and hit him doing about 50 (speed limit was 70). She refused to admit she needed help and was virtually suicidal from fear etc for a very long time. She has still never had help and won't drive or be a passenger on the road it happened on if she can avoid it.
Good luck but be kind to yourself it is still very recent.
coco I'm guessing you don't need to hear 'statistically they'll be fine blah blah blah' so instead I'll tell you to be kind to yourself, take time to recover and give them all an extra hug when you see them later
Dh was in a serious accident. It left him with anxiety about travelling and confined spaces. Time helped but counselling - several sets of sessions - helped most of all.
Of course you're anxious. It was a terrible thing. Counselling can help you accept that it happened, your feelings when it happened, and the fears you now carry.
It is life-inhibiting. But you can get through this. It may take professional help, though, so see your GP.
Good luck. And you poor thing: it sounds horrendous.
I made it to work. HR manager has just caught up with me and checked how I was, just finishing off a brew. DP and DC have got back fine and I am a little bit proud of myself for getting to work and dealing with the anxiety. I knew if I didn't get to work I would have struggled with this and that's not fair on my kids not to have their time with their dad. I am seeing my GP and have been referred for counselling but the wait is huge. GP sees me every two weeks and I am keeping a diary which helps. THANK YOU ALL for your kind words.
Here's the thing about anxiety: It's not based in logic. You know you/your children will be statistically fine. But your body is freaking out anyway.
The best thing you can do is drive anyway. The more you drive and get somewhere safely, the more your brain will go "Oh yeah, that wasn't so bad". But if you avoid driving, the more your brain will go "Yep, I was right, driving is bad good thing we avoided it".
Easier said than done. In the mean time is it possible to have your GP prescribe you some beta blockers so you don't get jumpy in traffic?
I really have an aversion to medication. My dad was addicted to Prozac when I was in my teens. He had a nervous breakdown and I vividly remember the withdrawal. I had been doing really well, I had been back on the motorway recently. Today I had been looking at cars for when insurance comes through. Then boom, anxiety again. I will get there, I won't let it win.
Good for you and glad your HR manager is being understanding.
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