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12 year old going to London on her own

(28 Posts)
tireddotcom72 Wed 08-Jun-16 20:32:21

I'm actually completely lost for words. Asked my ex to look after his 12 year old dd for a couple of hours tomorrow evening. He said he couldn't manage the half hour train journey from London to our house after work but suggested she got the train into London on her own during rush hour then cross London during rush hour on the underground on her own! She would then meet him somewhere in Euston!

This child suffers from anxiety at the best of times and has never even been to our local town centre on her own!!

tireddotcom72 Wed 08-Jun-16 20:33:26

Posted before I could add my answer to him was no way! And I got told I was over protective!

SissySpacekAteMyHamster Wed 08-Jun-16 20:35:32


NeedACleverNN Wed 08-Jun-16 20:37:10

Does she know london?

If she does and is confident about the way about directions she would be ok. Though I get she would be anxious about

If she has not got a single clue no chance

gunsandbanjos Wed 08-Jun-16 20:38:12

I have a 12 year old, there is zero chance I'd let her do that journey on her own!

Bonkers. If he could meet her at the London terminal she gets into so she'd literally just have to sit on the train and then be picked up when she gets off it then it would be fine. But asking a provincial 12 year old to do a strange tube journey unaccompanied is grossly unreasonable/

ChippyMinton Wed 08-Jun-16 20:39:17

If she was being met at the London terminal that would be ok. But no to using the tube.

NeedACleverNN Wed 08-Jun-16 20:40:56

The fact he feels your being over protective...I'm not sure if I would trust my ex to look after her in the first place

If he feels THIS is over protective then maybe leaving at her at home whilst he pops out for a few pints is ok etc

tireddotcom72 Wed 08-Jun-16 20:41:42

She wouldn't have a clue about the underground and rush hour crowds at st Pancras would scare the life out of her! He was going to put her back on a train about 9 to send her home alone!!

ElleBellyBeeblebrox Wed 08-Jun-16 20:43:23

No no and no. YADNBU

tireddotcom72 Wed 08-Jun-16 20:43:52

He took her to Pizza Hut when she was 8 and went outside to make a phone call leaving her alone for 20mins!! I don't trust him to look after her even now she is older!!

MariaSklodowska Wed 08-Jun-16 20:43:57

no not OK unless she was being met off the train. Sounds like a nasty case of 'dont give a fuckness'

JackandDiane Wed 08-Jun-16 20:44:07

I used to do similar from Hertford to various airports. I quite liked it - was exciting

mizuzu Wed 08-Jun-16 20:45:53

I dont think this is a good idea, i am a Londoner myself but a 12 year old with anxiety and not from the area not a good idea.

NeedACleverNN Wed 08-Jun-16 20:47:15

I think you need to look at alternative child care really OPn

tireddotcom72 Wed 08-Jun-16 20:51:27

She normally stays home with neighbour on hand if I go out she asked him to come and take her out for tea as she just finished exams at school so wanted a treat. She said she won't be asking him again!

gunsandbanjos Wed 08-Jun-16 21:04:08

Sounds as useless as my ex, he was always more important than whatever else was going on.

Hasn't seen his daughter in over a month because he's busy...

specialsubject Wed 08-Jun-16 21:07:07

London kids do that all the time.

but she's not a London kid.

tireddotcom72 Wed 08-Jun-16 21:12:48

He last saw her in February as he has been busy ( new girlfriend)

Pinkheart5915 Wed 08-Jun-16 21:14:45

yanbu. What a lazy dad he is

I'm an adult and I hate going in to London at rush hour.

Snowkitty Wed 08-Jun-16 21:33:04

YADNBU. I wouldn't let my 14 yo DS do this alone, especially the return journey at 9pm, even if he was familiar with the journey and knew exactly where he was going. That said there are other journeys I'd allow him to make alone - but they are ones with a considerably lower risk of getting lost or mugged!

What planet is your Ex on? He's clearly very out of touch with reality and very irresponsible.

WannaBe Wed 08-Jun-16 21:40:48

IME people who live in London are more complacent about these things because kids do travel across London at that age, to school etc. I know my DS is far more independent and confident travelling alone than e.g. My sister's kids who live elsewhere.

That being said, I wouldn't allow him to go into London and on the tube in rush hour alone, and certainly wouldn't let him travel home alone at 9 PM, although I know he would be capable.

ProteusRising Wed 08-Jun-16 21:43:29

I did this from the age of 11 but you know your daughter best and it sounds like she wouldn't manage it, so YANBU.

clarrrp Wed 08-Jun-16 21:50:50

Hell no. Christ I'm 33 and I still freak out in London at rush hour.

UterusUterusGhali Wed 08-Jun-16 21:54:41

Nopity nope

My dd got the train to the next county when she was 14, and I was super anxious.
I only let her because the town she was going to has family members living there, and they were all poised to get her should there be any difficulty. (Small town. Not London)

You are not overprotective. He is a lazy twat.

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