Buckle up. This might turn into a bit of an essay...
My brother has 2 children with his ex wife. They have been separated for 3 years and divorced for 1. For the most part they have been on good terms. So far so rosy!
It came to light last year that her new fella who seemed nice enough turned out to have a bit of a dodgy past (understatement... he was arrested for flashing at a 12 yr old. on more than one occasion I believe.) but basically it transpired that my ex sil knew about this and kept it to herself until social services stepped in and told my Brother. Not great but she ended things with the fella. Social services continued to visit due to concerns they had about her ability to put the children first and the care they were receiving.
Ex has now moved in her new fella who also has 2 kids (she also has a child from a previous relationship in the house), his kids are also under social services for a different matter but essentially they are concerned about both parties abilities to care for their children in a manner expected of your average joe and now it has come to light that they have another baby on the way so that will be 1 teen, 2 school age, 2 under 5yrs old and a baby.
At the end of their last meeting it was suggested by a welfare officer from the kids school that it might be worth trying 50/50 residency.
My brother wants nothing more than to have his kids live with him full time but he has been told he must give their Mum a chance to make the changes she needs to to be a better parent. He isn't happy but he does accept that, he works full time and he would love for her to make those changes and to not have to worry about taking them "home" I am sure.
Ok so he is now tying himself up in knots trying to figure out how they move forward. I don't know how he will afford to do this 50/50 residency?! they are talking about having 1 week where the kids live with him and then 1 week at their mums.
His boss has been great so far but he usually starts work at 6 and does 12 hour shifts which clearly would be impossible if he is taking kids to school at 8:30. My daughter attends the same school so I am happy to help with afternoon pick up but it will still slice quite a chunk off his wages. Its about more than just money but I am worried about how this will pan out longterm.
Does anyone have any experience? He has tried calling the tax credits line but they didn't want to give him much info at all.
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5 replies
m0therhubbard · 02/06/2016 21:58
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