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To think this is wrong?

(21 Posts)
LiquorsOnDeck Mon 30-May-16 17:14:07

My husband took our dd out to the park on Saturday for a couple of hours so I could catch up with stuff at home. I am a SAHM and he works full time, we rarely see him during the week.
They both love their time together and I have never doubted his capabilities and have trusted him in terms of keeping her safe.
The day after their outing dd was pottering around in the sitting room having her lunch and watching CBeebies, so I nipped out to give DH a cup of coffee, he was messing about with his car approx 100 metres from the house in the garage.
As I handed over the coffee he started a conversation - after a couple of minutes I said that I must just check dd. The back door was open but I wanted to glance through the window to check she was ok.
He said, for goodness sake stop worrying about her, she's fine.....yesterday she was climbing 20 feet climbing frames so she's fine on her own for a few minutes.
For some reason it made me wince and then question his capabilities in terms of her safety. It has bothered me since. I don't want to be a helicopter parent but I don't like that kind of 'oh she'll be fine' attitude.
So, am I just being silly? How long do you feel comfortable leaving your dc out of sight?

myownprivateidaho Mon 30-May-16 17:16:40

How old is she?

Pinkheart5915 Mon 30-May-16 17:18:30

It Depends on your DD age

Becky546 Mon 30-May-16 17:19:02

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sarahbanshee Mon 30-May-16 17:21:13

It depends on how old she is, how capable, and also what "on her own" means. I would let 4yo DD climb a high climbing wall but I would be right there supervising and encouraging, but not actually touching or helping unless she got stuck.

LiquorsOnDeck Mon 30-May-16 17:39:32

Sorry, forgot to add. Dd is 3.3 years. Thank you for comments so far.

superwormissuperstrong Mon 30-May-16 17:46:10

Unless your DD is particularly naughty or mischievous then I'm with your DH.
Our DD is 2.11 and we leave her to her own devices sometimes at home or in the garden. And am definitely happy to supervise and help her up the big slides and climbing frames in parks - although I'm usually in a catching position until she 'learns' a frame really well.
In fact I've just come down stairs and she was probably 10-15 mins on her own watching Peter rabbit and tree fu tom while I helped DH with some diy.

BadDoGooder Mon 30-May-16 17:49:30

At that age I would wander off into the garden for ages, so long as I knew he couldn't get out the front door!
House is child proof, and if he wants something he will ask!

I've been encouraging him to go solo on high climbing frames for at least a year or so. Always standing at the bottom just in case, but not helping unless truly stuck.

They need to learn to judge danger for themselves.

branofthemist Mon 30-May-16 17:50:14

I think Yabu about the claiming frame. But I would have checked On small children in the house. But Ds was particularly mischievous when left alone. Like trying to climb out or Windows or on window sills and jumping off.

BadDoGooder Mon 30-May-16 17:50:38

Meant to say DS is 4!

PaulAnkaTheDog Mon 30-May-16 17:51:14

Yeah, I'm with your dh.

AwfulBeryl Mon 30-May-16 17:52:31

Well yes, obviously at that age they can be left for a while to play. I certainly didn't constantly watch my dts at that age. That said I've always hated the "fgs they'll be fine attitude" I don't see the problem with nipping in to check out of the window. That's not helicopter parenting, it's just a brief check.

AwfulBeryl Mon 30-May-16 17:54:47

Oh and I don't really see the problem with climbing at that age either, it's good for their development and self esteem to take risks.

lulucappuccino Mon 30-May-16 17:56:51


Becky546 Mon 30-May-16 18:14:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LiquorsOnDeck Mon 30-May-16 18:15:43

Thank you all for your messages - yes, I guess I need to relax a bit! Much appreciated comments.

Improperlyhappy Mon 30-May-16 18:58:17

Is DD your first? I found that I was more protective of first DS and much less so with second DS. Just feeling more comfortable that most of the time they really are ok, and I didn't need to be so panicky & overprotective about everything and thinking everything bad was going to happen. Result is that older boy is a wee bit neurotic (like me!) & a rule-follower, whereas DS 2 is more of a free spirit and marches to the beat of his own drum! Trust hubby's judgement a bit more xx

Ameliablue Mon 30-May-16 19:06:21

Is there really a 20' climbing frame or was he exaggerating?
In general though at that age my dd would have been climbing and could be left out of sight but not hearing for a short time. It does depend the individual though.

Ameliablue Mon 30-May-16 19:07:14

Also depends on the house and how safe it is.

FoxesSitOnBoxes Mon 30-May-16 19:10:05

Aah, nice thread.
MN: "yeah, a bit"
OP: "oh, OK, thanks"

Iguessyourestuckwithme Mon 30-May-16 19:12:42

I allow dc 2.6 to go in and out of the house to the garden to play when I'm inside making lunch/dealing with dc 8 months or stay inside while I hang out a big lot of laundry. The house is childproof and while dc is a mischievious 1 I feel I can trust her out of sight in a safe space much longer than I can trust her inside with a cruising sibling who is seen as fair game smile

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