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changing days- aggressive ex

(2 Posts)
missabbey11 Mon 30-May-16 16:35:12

very long story!!

over a year ago me and ex split, he was aggressive and extremely verbally abusive and can be very physically intimidating, we agreed he would have our little boy on a Wednesday night and a Friday night every week with his mother doing drop offs and pick ups because he was unable to have contact with me without threatening me, he apparently grew up slightly and decided he was capable of picking up little boy etc, if i ever say something that he doesnt immediately like he become aggressive again and threatening, when i have previously said i will stop visitation he has threatened me with courts.
Now i want to change the days to every other weekend with extended weekends if his weekend falls on a bank holiday and a week during the 6 weeks holidays that we agree on before hand and sharing holidays, i dont think i am being unreasonable, i want to do this because in September little boy with be going to school nursery but as il have university hell be in daycare on morning and then my mother will take him to big nursery, this is already a big change and it will be confusing for him to go from place to place every day, not something that i want to do but i need to go to university and ex refuses to change work hours or days to have little boy when its less convenient, not that i would want him involved with nursery or schools! i dont want little boy going from his dads super early to then a n nursery and soo on dissrupting his routine and especially when in a year hell be in propper school and i would like a strict routine, as strict as i can get, in place becouse of homework etc. he doesnt sleep well at exes as they let him run free and leave him be too tired next day, in an ideal world i would be able to trust ex to drop little boy in nursery etc however he is very angry and also racist, or how he puts it prejudice towards muslim people but not racist, i cant trust him to not associate my little boy with that type pf behavior as its not acceptable and dont want ex involved in school or nursery at al,
anyway he has threatened me with courts and a part of me is saying let him they wont take my little boy anyway itl be fine itl just waste his money but what should i do im very confused? am i being unreasonable to change the days?

Topseyt Mon 30-May-16 17:20:53

Should he really have unsupervised contact with your child at all, based on what you have said?

He is verbally abusive, physically intimidating and also a racist. Should your child have him as a role model at all? Should he be growing up seeing that as normal behaviour, or should that influence be removed from his life - i.e. supervised contact only, or nothing?

I don't think I would want him within a ten mile radius of a small child of mine.

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