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To be pissed off that another day is ruined?

(14 Posts)
DreamCloud99 Sat 28-May-16 09:47:03

I had plans to take my twins to their swimming lesson and on to the park today.

I have ME so the chance to do things with them is limited .

I was up from midnight with terrible heartburn and painful trapped wind in my stomach and back , so I've had very little sleep...

So now I feel like utter crap, hEadache , feeling very tired and weak as is usual with my ME. I don't have to the energy to get dressed .

So we are having another crappy day indoors where I will attempt to play with them whilst having to lie down at every opportunity I can .

I'm so sick of living this unpredictable life !

AIBU to feel guilty ? sad

Energumene Sat 28-May-16 09:56:09

No, not at all. I have psoriatic arthritis and the fatigue element of that makes for me feeling that way too. If you care about your kids and want to give them a decent life, feeling guilty that your illness prevents you doing so seems entirely natural to me.

If it's any comfort, DS is 10 and knows I sometimes feel this way. He tells me the most important thing is that we get to spend time together, even if it's not going out. And that he can go out and do stuff with other people. And he's not 'just saying that' either.

flowers be kind to yourself. You've enough on your plate, and beating yourself up won't make you feel any better physically or mentally. Focus on the fact you do lots for them despite your condition, and that they know they are loved, because that's the bit they'll remember.

MothertotheLordsofmisrule Sat 28-May-16 10:00:55

What Energumene said.

LadySilvia Sat 28-May-16 10:02:30

YANBU to have these feelings but YABVU to give yourself such a hard time about it! It's a(nother!) really crappy element of this illness (MS mum here so I get these days too). I'm sure your DC love everything you do with them, inside or out, because you sound like such a lovely mum. Feel better soon. brew and flowers for you

TroysMammy Sat 28-May-16 10:18:24

Illness can't be helped. Why not always plan 2 activities, one for when you are able and one when you are not up to it. When you are unwell you don't have the added stress of finding them things to do. I'm sure the children don't think they are having a "crappy day indoors" if they are with their Mum. Hope you feel better soon.

byjimminey Sat 28-May-16 10:30:23


Just to let you know i had plenty of stuff planned to do today but i've been completely worn out all of last week and last night i was woken up twice to the point that i couldn't get back to sleep (despite being really tired) so wasted lots of the small hours on the laptop till i could drift off again. the result is that i still woke fairly early, around 7am feeling really tired with a sore head and as a result i am still in pyjamas doing nothing!

Haggisfish Sat 28-May-16 10:32:58

Yanbu. Get some ranitidine in for future indigestion though-it doesn't need to keep you up.

deste Sat 28-May-16 10:33:30

You have the rest of your life to do activities with them, don't beat yourself up. If you feel better tomorrow, take them swimming then.

rumblingDMexploitingbstds Sat 28-May-16 10:52:15

I hear you thanks I have POTS and this is day 3 of a bad crash. Things I needed to do have to be rescheduled yet again, people let down, plans I had I have to reorganise for while trying to stay positive and calm about yet another frigging day laying down doing bugger all while feeling like hell having a quiet day. The unpredictability part of it sucks beyond belief and oooh yes the guilt.

Although I triggered the crash being this bad by getting guilty about letting people down again, deciding for the umpteenth time that I was not giving into this crap and if I ignored it, pushed on and worked as normal it would just go away and POTS laughed and bit me firmly on the bum.

I try to achieve this graceful state (ha) of rolling with the punches, accepting the day as it is and making the best of what I can do with it. Except another part of me yells on bad days who exactly do I think I'm kidding. wink

I'm sorry you're having a bad day thanks Maybe a film fest with the kids and a picnic so you don't have to cook and can participate laying down with them?

Ricksheadtilt Sat 28-May-16 10:56:26

I feel the same way a lot. (Fibromyalgia). I feel guilty for soooo many things on a daily basis. I try my best to put my game face on, but some days I could scream.
I also do that stupid thing where if I'm feeling ok I race around like a loon trying to catch up with stuff or give the kids a fun day with fun mum (then spend a week recovering confused)

CigarsofthePharoahs Sat 28-May-16 11:02:24

I'm currently awaiting some sort of diagnosis for a chronic pain condition. I'm finally getting some physio at least, I'm banking on it really working because I'm so fed up with this.
Can't run around in the park with the children, I can't go very fast and the slightest misstep leaves me in agony. Can't sit on the floor and play with toys, same problem. Don't know how well I'm going to sleep, don't feel up to planning anything as I don't know how I'm going to feel. The only exercise I get is the 15 minute walk to school and that's getting harder and harder.
I keep thinking that I'd cope if only I wasn't so bloody tired. A friend was telling me about how much fun Clubercise was and my body was aching just at the thought!

FeliciaJollygoodfellow Sat 28-May-16 11:52:07

YANBU. No where near what anyone else endures but I regularly get migraines. Nearly midday and I'm only just starting to feel well enough to get up. Day ruined as we were going to go out.

I know we can do it tomorrow but we'd planned today for a reason!

MargaretRiver Sat 28-May-16 13:14:59

I think you need to readjust your expectations
The majority of fully healthy mums are not doing fabulous enriching activities every day
We all have quieter days often
Whether due to illness or catching up on housework, paperwork, whatever
You are doing a great job

DreamCloud99 Sat 28-May-16 13:53:22

wine and cake for all of the kind posts .

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