AIBU to bow out of family arrangements

[Belleende]

My Parents say they want to come and see me. They also want to go to event in london that my sister is involved in, but they are clear they want to base themselves with me (in town north of london v close to luton), to spend time with me and new gc. Lovely, was making lots of lovely plans. Next I hear they have booked tickets in and out of gatwick, with only one night either side of the london event and if they want to see me and gc I will have to go to them.

I was happy to do all the organising when they were going to be based with me, but now it seems I am once again a bit of an after thought, aibu to hand all arrangements over to my sister? (They are old, don't travel well add need a lot of hand holding)

[Bodear]

I think it depends on whether you actually want to see them and why their plans have changed.

[Canyouforgiveher]

My guess is they are old, they wanted to see you, they also wanted to see your sister in her event, they expressed this but then booked it differently.

If they are staying near/with your sister now, then of course she should organise everything.

but I wouldn't actually let my elderly parents flail around worrying about accommodation etc just to score a point. Presuming this isn't a toxic relationship why don't you just call your sister ask her what is happening with mum and dad as they are now staying with/near her and then arrange to go down and meet them?

[rachelgrier]

If they are old then i don't think it's being unreasonable if they need your assistance organizing things. How does your sister feel about it? Your parents do sound like they want to see so give them the helping hand the need i'd say.

[WhereYouLeftIt]

" it seems I am once again a bit of an after thought,"


Well it's only practical that your sister see to the arrangements now, since they will be staying with her. She will know when she's going to be in etc.

Would it be possible for you to take the DC to see them? Or will they be out all day, only at your sister's later when you would be putting DC to bed? I might mess with their bedtime for one night, depending on the age of the DC and how they usually are when out of their routine (doesn't bother some children, turns others into sleep-deprived monsters).

YANBU to allow your sister to make the arrangements for her guests.

[Belleende]

Not a toxic relationship, but over the years I have certainly had the thin end of the wedge when it comes to parental attention (e.g. brother lives in usa, I live in uk, they have been to see him more often than me), and I suppose I was hoping now it was my turn (have lush 10mo as bait) and I was looking forward to hosting them, but once again they have prioritised one of my siblings. I think you make a valid point about not letting them flail about and get stressed, but I think it is fair enough that this is now my sister's responsibility. I will if course bring my daughter to see them.