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AIBU?

To be concerned about my birthing experience

10 replies

scottishegg · 10/05/2016 18:15

Hi all I have just given birth to my 4th child, with my other 3 births I had a lovely experience and the staff were wonderful. This time however I was concerned about how I wasn't listened to.

I was induced 5 days early due to baby being big, active labour started a few hours after induction , was very manageable at first.
The midwife I had had all day then went off shift and for 3/4 hours I wasn't seen again.
My labour then progressed quite rapidly and I got to the stage were I needed pain relief. Pressed bell, two midwives came in, I asked for pain relief or an examination, both were refused. I was told to have a bath or take a paracetamol and I wasnt due an examination for 4 hours. I explained that this was my 4th child and the pain was becoming unmanageable and I felt close to pushing and was told your not in labour it's hormones!! You may have had 3 other children but you have never been induced before it's different! They then left without another word.

45 minutes later the pain become unmanageable I pressed the bell again one of the same midwife came in, I asked for gas and air she kept asking are you sure you dont look like ur contracting despite me. Bring doubled over on the bed! She then agreed to an examination and found out I was 7/8 cms.... Rushed off to the labour ward and I had the baby 25 minutes later!

Dont get me wrong me and baby were fine but I didn't like the way I was dismissed and refused an examination, Is this worth complaining about as if I hadn't have any other births I may not had pushed for an exam and could have had the baby there and then. I appreciate how hard midwives work just dont know whether the way I was treated could have had more severe consequences for other people particularly first time mums. I hardly ever complain.

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FutureGadgetsLab · 10/05/2016 18:19

That's disgusting and you should complain. You had appalling treatment.

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Ginmakesitallok · 10/05/2016 18:23

I had the same with dd2, except I wasn't being induced. Mw kept me in the triage room, I said I thought I was close to having baby, she said my waters hadn't gone and I wasn't in established labour. She only checked me because she was going off shift, I was 9 cm, missed my water birth and had dd2 after about 40 mins.

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chellem1 · 10/05/2016 18:32

I was induced with DD and was induced. My active labour also came on extremely quickly and I had to really push them to be examined as I wasn't supposed to be examined again for a few hours. Ended up being rushed to the labour room in a wheelchair with my arse hanging out and they'd barely got gloves on when my DD came shooting out. No chance for pain relief.

I would complain, I hate these stories where the mum is not listened to.

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Amy214 · 10/05/2016 18:36

My sil was induced aswell she was told she wasnt in labour 45mins later my nephew was born and my brother almost missed his birth.

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January87 · 10/05/2016 18:40

Yes I'd complain about that experiences. Midwives should listen to the mother instead of trying to keep things to a timing schedule! Had you had oxytocin? AFAIR, it could be different in the UK, but if you are hooked up to oxytocin you should be monitored closely, or had you had the prostin gel?

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scottishegg · 10/05/2016 18:41

I had the prostine gel.

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chellem1 · 10/05/2016 18:42

Oops, just realised I repeated myself there, sorry! Blush

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Storminateapot · 10/05/2016 18:47

Worth complaining. I had a similar experience 17 years ago, would have hoped things might have improved since then. I went into active labour very quickly - my pain was dismissed as 'prostin pains' and the first gushing of water 'a show'. I was examined quite reluctantly and very stroppily by one of the midwives - was 7cms. Dash to the labour wars in a wheelchair & my baby arrived very quickly afterwards.

I never complained, but often wondered if I should have. It was my first time so I didn't know what was what. To dismiss a 4th time mother seems foolhardy.

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MissHooliesCardigan · 10/05/2016 19:31

I would complain. There was a thread recently about 'Things you don't want to hear a midwife say' (I think it's in Classics now) and there was a recurring theme of women being refused pain relief 'because they weren't in active labour' and subsequently being found to be 9cms dilated or being told that they had hours until the baby arrived when the head was actually crowning. If you've had 3 babies before, you know what you're talking about and should be listened to. Every birth is different and they don't always go the way a textbook says it should.

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britespark1 · 10/05/2016 19:38

I would complain. Very similar story but with my first so I hadn't yet learnt to stand up for myself. They wouldn't examine me, ignored the buzzer and kept insisting I had yet another bath (!). I ended up pushing on my own in a dark ward, terrified, in the middle of the night. Husband made it with minutes to spare. I learnt a lot and my third birth in particular was a different sorry altogether. I didn't complain at the time but did complain when I had my second about many many things (finally being given a bed only with blood stained sheets that my husband had to change, being just one issue!).

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