To know whether it's happening or not by now.....

[FV45]

I am going to do my best to explain w/o outing myself.

Me: going through very difficult time at the moment. I have a hobby/sport which is helping me get through. It's massively important to me, but I accept that people don't understand this and I accept that it's not essential I do it ie it's important but other things take priority (like my kids and my work and other stuff!).

Tamara: (not real name): Suggested she was having an party on a certain day and could I keep it free as I would be invited/expected to go. Then something happened which meant she couldn't think about the party for a while. I understood this entirely and did not push her to confirm the party.

I have an event to do with my hobby the day after the event, which I would really like to go to, but can't if I go to Tamara's do. Her do trumps my event and I am fine with that. I accepted that I could not go to my event.

Things have calmed down in her life and she is now able to decide whether to go ahead with her party.

I need to confirm ASAP whether I can do my event, but I have asked her once and have also asked her DH and have had no response.

She is rather sensitive. I know I will be pissed off if she doesn't do her party, meaning I could have gone to my event, but she doesn't understand this.

[pippistrelle]

Contact her one more time with a deadline. Kindly, of course - along the lines of 'understand you've been pre-occupied, don't want to nag but I've received another invitation for that weekend, your party - if it's still likely to happen - has priority of course, but I do just need to know. Can you let me know by X please. If I don't hear anything, I'll assume it's off.'

[DoreenLethal]

Suggested she was having an party on a certain day and could I keep it free as I would be invited/expected to go.

Is Tamara really the Queen? If not, she does not get to 'expect' you to go to anything. She asks, and then you respond in the affirmative or make your apologies.

[AlwaysDancing1234]

It's hard to say without knowing who she is in relation to you and what the party is exactly but I'd say give her one more chance with a deadline.

[BillSykesDog]

Depends how far away the event is really? When is it?

[FV45]

She's replied! Her do is on.
She's my sister and its her 40th, and deserves to be treated like the Queen for the day!