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AIBU?

To ask cleaner not to do the laundry

38 replies

Ninefreerangeeggs · 30/04/2016 10:55

Dh and I employ a cleaner a couple of days a week. I'll call her B. B is an absolutely wonderful girl, trustworthy, hardworking and I am very fond of her. Last week I came home to find the laundry washed and hung up to dry. At first I thought dh had done it but it turned out B had. I was taken aback and a little annoyed as one of the items was hand-wash only but at the same time my heart swelled a little for B who, I have no doubt will have done it to be helpful. As I said she is a star and often goes out and beyond to help around the house. I don't want her to feel she did something wrong by doing the laundry but I'm really not comfortable for it to become a regular thing. Also she doesn't speak English very well and it will be difficult to explain all of this to her.

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Birdsgottafly · 30/04/2016 10:59

She might be used to the laundry being part of her duties, so unless you just tell her that she doesn't have to do the laundry, she won't know.

Can't you use Google Translate to communicate with her?

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listsandbudgets · 30/04/2016 10:59

Can you ask her to check the machine and hang up a wash if she finds one in there but not to worry otherwise. That means you could leave a wash running and know it will be up and drying when you come home but you'll have decided what's in the load

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DoreenLethal · 30/04/2016 11:01

Is she really a girl? Or a proper like woman type person?

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whatdoIget · 30/04/2016 11:02

She's a little girl that does for them, Doreen Wink

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Nanny0gg · 30/04/2016 11:04

Instead of telling her what you don't want her to do, why don't you tell her what you would like her to do?

Be specific.

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Marmalade85 · 30/04/2016 11:06

Why don't you employ someone who can speak English?

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Trills · 30/04/2016 11:08

I thought it was usual to have a conversation when you first hired someone saying what you wanted them to do...

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Ninefreerangeeggs · 30/04/2016 11:09

doreen got it. My mistake. She's a woman not a girl.

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PPie10 · 30/04/2016 11:11

Why didn't you specify at the beginning what she's meant to do. Confusedtotal non issue.

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Trills · 30/04/2016 11:15

It would not be at all unreasonable to talk t her (or the agency, if you think that would be easier) saying that you do want her to do floors, surfaces, washing up, but you don't want her to do laundry or change the beds.

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SaucyJack · 30/04/2016 11:16

Just politely request that she doesn't do it in future. Use sign language if her English is really that poor.

And ditch the angst and the guilt. It isn't personal to her, it's just her job-- same as yours is to you. Giving her a clear and polite instruction need only be as awkward as you want to make it.

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Ninefreerangeeggs · 30/04/2016 11:17

When we first hired her, I explained that the job was to vacuum and dust/clean surfaces as well as changing sheets. And so it was for three odd years. In the last year or so she's been doing little extras of her own initiative such as emptying the dishwasher and rearranging dd's (very untidy) dresser for example.

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Ninefreerangeeggs · 30/04/2016 11:20

Thanks for all the advice, I'll just try to be clearer about what she's expected to do

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SanityClause · 30/04/2016 11:21

Why don't you employ someone who can speak English?

Shock

Really?

Immigrants can't win, can they? We mustn't give them jobs, if their English isn't perfect, but if they don't have jobs, they are benefits tourists.

FWIW, my cleaner of about 10 years is from a country which was not an EU country when she started (but is now). Her English isn't fantastic, but of course she can get by. I imagine she speaks better English than the Spanish spoken by many of the British people who live in Spain.

She is a lovely woman, and an excellent cleaner. We can chat about various things, but sometimes it becomes clear they we are not really understanding each other's nuance.

So, for the OP, she may make a simple request, which may be misunderstood as a criticism. Or she may couch it too softly, and the cleaner may not really understand that she really is not to do the washing in future. And actually, either of these could happen, even if the cleaner were a native English speaker.

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Ninefreerangeeggs · 30/04/2016 11:39

Thanks sanity you summed it up perfectly

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georgefrederickhandel · 30/04/2016 11:44

I would just leave delicate and hand wash only items out of reach and let her get on with the rest of the laundry.

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IWILLgiveupsugar · 30/04/2016 11:47

I'd do what george said. I wouldn't want to risk offending someone who is lovely and helpful.

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bigbuttons · 30/04/2016 11:49

She sounds like a gem.

For what it's worth the best cleaners/mothers' helpers I had in the past were always from abroad. They were hard working, efficient and reliable. I found the British ones useless; they never got much done and were always off sick. Sure there are some home grown gems out there but I never came across them.

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PPie10 · 30/04/2016 11:53

For what it's worth the best cleaners/mothers' helpers I had in the past were always from abroad. They were hard working, efficient and reliable. I found the British ones useless; they never got much done and were always off sick.

This is my experience too.

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SaucyJack · 30/04/2016 12:22

You could always make out it's because you'd rather wash your used knickers yourself, if you wanted an exucse?

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Marmalade85 · 30/04/2016 12:39

OP mentioned the language barrier could be a problem so I suggested maybe employing someone who speaks English could solve this.

My mother (British) worked as a cleaner and would be on her hands and knees scrubbing floors for £5ph and my granny (Irish) worked hard as a cleaner (in London) her whole life until she was in her 70s and she was forced to stop so I have no issues with British v. Immigrant cleaners.

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Marmalade85 · 30/04/2016 12:40

Sanity see pp

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Katinkka · 30/04/2016 12:43

Also find foreign ladies to be better cleaners. Much better and less hassle. anyway, to the OP just hide your delicates.

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PattiLevin · 30/04/2016 12:45

But her some chocolates? Might sweeten it and let her know that you value her.

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funniestWins · 30/04/2016 13:03

Just say no thanks.

Why is this even an issue?

Give her a list of things you'd like done and tell her 'nothing else'. She'll be delighted to have fewer chores. Writing it down and giving it to her gives her the chance to take it away and come back if there's anything she doesn't understand.

On the other hand, why wouldn't you want someone to do your laundry? You can't beat the feeling of crisply ironed socks and pants!

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