To be pissed of at OH?!

[Mummabear22]

So basically DD had her 12 week immunisations today, and is being a nightmare to put to bed (still trying now and have been since half 9). What's pissed me off is OH said she could be much worse after her immunisations, then proceeded to roll over in bed and fall asleep snoring!!
What's pissed me off even more is the fact he said this knowing full well I'll be the one up with DD most of the night not him!!
He does very little with her anyway and this week the days he's supposed to do bedtime (normally does Tuesday, Thursday and either Saturday or Sunday) he's only going to be song one of these which was Tuesday!!
His lack of help is starting to piss me off and wear me down! I'm starting to feel like a single parent!
So AIBU?

[Birdsgottafly]

No, you need to address this with him, when you've had some sleep.

I don't see the point of both parents being awake, but it should have been agreed to take turns.

[InlandTiger]

Do you both work or are you on mat leave?
What does he do to help on a typical evening?

My DH rarely does bedtimes as he has a long commute, by the time he's home DS is already fed, bathed and in bed. He also doesn't do night-wakings as he needs to be safe driving. But he helps at weekends and will help re-settle between feeds if I'm exhausted.

I don't think his comment is particularly U, many babies cry and grizzle all day and night after vaccinations so an hour of crying isn't much. But I get it that little comments can grate when you're tired!

[SecretSquirrelsSecretFriend]

If he wasn't doing the prior agreed nights why didn't you just get him to deal with her last night? Did you ask?

[crazywriter]

YANBU to expect him to help. Talk to him about this. DH does the nights he's not working the next day and he sticks to it. Nights like immunisations well take turns no matter whose night it is because it can be a long stretch. We both work but me from home and not as long or as difficult so this arrangement suits us.

[Mummabear22]

I'm currently on mat leave so am basically with DD 24/7. When he gets home from work on Tuesday's and Thursday's (the 2days he's home before bedtime) he helps by keeping her occupied till bath time so I can get some of the last bits done around the house, helps with bath time (DD baths with me so he gets her dried and dressed) and then he gives her, her bottle and settles her down.

I did ask him to help last night, but because DD is being very clingy at the moment (we are putting a routine in place to get her used to not doing everything with me, which is working) my OH said he didn't want to deal with her post immunisations, she is really good after her immunisations, she's just very sleepy and gets a slight temp.

I don't expect OH to do the night feeds Monday to Friday as I know he has work, and I don't mind doing it anyway as she now sleeps from 2100-0600. What really pissed me off was the fact he had the cheek to ask is she awake (when he knew full well she was) then go on to say well she could be worse, and proceed to fall asleep snoring loudly which kept her awake till I poked him to get him to stop!

Then this morning he asked how she was last night so I said she'd been a nightmare and he said the same then left for work. I'm struggling at the moment as I have PND and anxiety and am really finding everything hard at the moment, so I think this is contributing to me feeling pissed off.

[Mummabear22]

I'm currently on mat leave so am basically with DD 24/7. When he gets home from work on Tuesday's and Thursday's (the 2days he's home before bedtime) he helps by keeping her occupied till bath time so I can get some of the last bits done around the house, helps with bath time (DD baths with me so he gets her dried and dressed) and then he gives her, her bottle and settles her down.

I did ask him to help last night, but because DD is being very clingy at the moment (we are putting a routine in place to get her used to not doing everything with me, which is working) my OH said he didn't want to deal with her post immunisations, she is really good after her immunisations, she's just very sleepy and gets a slight temp.

I don't expect OH to do the night feeds Monday to Friday as I know he has work, and I don't mind doing it anyway as she now sleeps from 2100-0600. What really pissed me off was the fact he had the cheek to ask is she awake (when he knew full well she was) then go on to say well she could be worse, and proceed to fall asleep snoring loudly which kept her awake till I poked him to get him to stop!

Then this morning he asked how she was last night so I said she'd been a nightmare and he said the same then left for work. I'm struggling at the moment as I have PND and anxiety and am really finding everything hard at the moment, so I think this is contributing to me feeling pissed off.

[Mummabear22]

I'm currently on mat leave so am basically with DD 24/7. When he gets home from work on Tuesday's and Thursday's (the 2days he's home before bedtime) he helps by keeping her occupied till bath time so I can get some of the last bits done around the house, helps with bath time (DD baths with me so he gets her dried and dressed) and then he gives her, her bottle and settles her down.

I did ask him to help last night, but because DD is being very clingy at the moment (we are putting a routine in place to get her used to not doing everything with me, which is working) my OH said he didn't want to deal with her post immunisations, she is really good after her immunisations, she's just very sleepy and gets a slight temp.

I don't expect OH to do the night feeds Monday to Friday as I know he has work, and I don't mind doing it anyway as she now sleeps from 2100-0600. What really pissed me off was the fact he had the cheek to ask is she awake (when he knew full well she was) then go on to say well she could be worse, and proceed to fall asleep snoring loudly which kept her awake till I poked him to get him to stop!

Then this morning he asked how she was last night so I said she'd been a nightmare and he said the same then left for work. I'm struggling at the moment as I have PND and anxiety and am really finding everything hard at the moment, so I think this is contributing to me feeling pissed off.

[Mummabear22]

Sorry don't know why it posted it 3 times

[Birdsgottafly]

My GD is just over a year old. I got the word 'helped' out of her vocabulary. I help her, her partner just acts like a parent should.

As a couple you need to acknowledge how much work/time each age stage takes and then decide whose doing what, to keep both of you sane/healthy etc.

Whoever goes to work, generally does less housework, but you don't get to kop out of parenting, if your around.

Most of the issues that you're describing only happens because the man isn't behaving like an adult and Father.

That certainly isn't too much to ask of anyone.