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AIBU?

and precious?

91 replies

Decanter · 21/04/2016 16:43

As much as I can, I prevent my DCs from seeing news that may disturb or scare them, and that they do not NEED to see. E.g. I would tell (if asked, tbh) them in age appropriate terms about terror attacks, or refugee crises, or perhaps a prominent person's death but not about isolated murders etc. We do not read newspapers and never buy them or have them at home, and I am as careful as I can be about them seeing tabloid and trashy magazine covers (take a break) etc. when we are out. They are 4 and 7.

DD(7) told me today that she and a schoolfriend read about a "baby called Liam who was strangled and died". She was referring to the horrific case of little Liam Fee. Turns out her school provided the newspapers for them to cut bits out of etc. for craft.

I am a supporter of Child Eyes, the charity which campaigns for the censorship of sexualised images and headlines, and I believe that a young child reading stories of children being murdered are potentially as scary and anxiety-provoking to a young child.

Would I be U and precious, if I asked the school not to use newspaper for this type of activity?

OP posts:

Report

WhereYouLeftIt · 21/04/2016 16:48

So what age do you think your children should be before they're capable of seeing, say, the six o'clock news? And how do you plan to introduce them to awareness of the outside world?

19lottie82 · 21/04/2016 16:51

Yes, very precious........

curren · 21/04/2016 16:52

Yabu. Completely.

witsender · 21/04/2016 16:53

Yanbu to worry, I too restrict what my kids know about as there is just no need at such a young age. I'm not sure that the school checking papers isn't OTT though.

Sirzy · 21/04/2016 16:54

Ideally someone would have checked as they got the papers out for any very unsuitable articles. But realistically when a child is old enough to read you can't hide them from the world and I am not sure what you think you will gain long term by hiding her from things. Much better to let her be exposed and ask questions so you can help her understand the world isn't always a nice place

NynaevesSister · 21/04/2016 16:54

What you do at home is up to you entirely. But you would be unreasonable to expect to shield your daughter 100% of the time. When she goes to friends houses for play dates can you see yourself telling the parents that they need to put away all newspapers and magazines and make sure she doesn't see the news on the TV?

nanetterose · 21/04/2016 16:55

I work in a school. If it was the front page, then it wouldn't have been a massive job to remove it.
Inside? Well, they probably did realise.
I don't think you are be precious actually, but l think with schools being as busy as they are - this type of thing would be overlooked inevitably.

Crispbutty · 21/04/2016 16:57

Completely precious. Your child is old enough to read, you cant shelter them from the world. The news is all around them. Billboards with huge adverts for charities, newspapers at friends houses. You need to pop the protective bubble I'm afraid.

I read the papers at my parents house at that age, and was bizarrely interested in politics and crime... but I still believed in Father Christmas too..

nanetterose · 21/04/2016 16:57

*didn't realise.

TheNaze73 · 21/04/2016 16:58

I think you're doing everything for the right reasons. However, i don't think you can control the school element

BrowncoatsUnite · 21/04/2016 16:59

A little U. I understand you are trying to protect them, but at the age when they can talk their friends and get similar information, it's better to explain then try to shield them. There is bad in the world and they should know that.

curren · 21/04/2016 17:00

What will you do when a child who watches the news mentions something to them?

It's going to happen.

willconcern · 21/04/2016 17:02

I also think YABU. How old do you think chikdren shoukd be before they know about the news? How will your children cope with the real world? I would worry that not exposing my DCs to anything that might upset/scare them would make them more vulnerable.

willconcern · 21/04/2016 17:03

Also how will they learn anything about politics? I think discussion of news is a really good way to bring DCs up to be good citizens.

Out2pasture · 21/04/2016 17:04

Where I'm from teachers provide art/craft project material from their own personal funds.
Although I understand what your saying, the alternative might be less class projects.
I'm sure the school would appreciate you sourcing and gifting unprinted newspaper.

arethereanyleftatall · 21/04/2016 17:04

What you're essentially saying is that whenever the school uses old newspapers for crafts, you would like someone to go through each paper, removing anything inappropriate? Not very realistic.

ShatnersBassoon · 21/04/2016 17:09

Once your child can read, you're not going to be able to stop them picking up on unpleasant things. Kids are drawn to horrible stuff.

Our school does their bit by telling parents not to donate The Sun for craft

AugustaFinkNottle · 21/04/2016 17:13

Yes, YABU, and mostly extremely naive. You really aren't going to be able to prevent your children seeing newspapers and magazines, and by trying to prevent it you're making them all the more interesting to your children. I'm also quite concerned that you're teaching them that newspapers are somehow Bad Things when they are in fact an essential tool in education.

Theoretician · 21/04/2016 17:18

DD is five. She saw a newspaper front page on my computer screen. There was a picture of a man standing on seaside rocks lifting the body of a teenage boy into a body bag.

DD: Why is the man lifting that boy?
Me: The boy fell off a boat, he is lifting him out of the sea.
DD: Why is the boy lying like that?
Me: He drowned when he fell off the boat.
DD: We don't have to be sad because he is dead, because we don't know him.

Not sure where she got that from, but it seems she needs less protection than I thought. She saw her first body in the flesh at roughly 40 years younger than I did, at her grandmother's funeral.

WorraLiberty · 21/04/2016 17:20

I think you are being a bit precious, yes.

Whilst young children don't need to be exposed to absolutely everything on the news, they can't possibly be shielded from everything either.

By shielding them too much, you could be storing up problems for the future when all of a sudden she realises the world isn't full of fluffy unicorns and lemonade.

Also, the fact she sat and read the story kind of shows that she has a curiosity about what's going on in the world around her.

Perhaps it's time to expose her a bit more, but continue to guide her through her feelings etc.

EweAreHere · 21/04/2016 17:22

I understand shielding young children to a certain degree. Age appropriateness is important in lots of things (books, movies, tv shows, news stories, deaths of famous people or family members, sex talks, etc)

But you can't teach children to cope with real world issues if they're not allowed to hear about/experience the real world ... in an age appropriate manner.

Terrible, bad things do happen in the world. They need to know this so they can learn how to handle such news, or when it happens close to home.

Decanter · 21/04/2016 17:22

Hi thanks for the responses. Concensus seems to be that I am being unreasonable, but you were generally all quite nice about it

Willconcern - We do teach them about and expose them to politics, we are avid Question Time viewers and I wouldn't object to them being exposed to that.

arethereanyleftatall - No, what I'm essentially saying is in my OP

I am very conscious of how quickly they are growing, and of how many truly carefree innocent years they have left and I just want them to enjoy those while they can.

Thanks again.

OP posts:

Outfoxed · 21/04/2016 17:24

Yanbu!
I firmly believe all my anxiety and weird death/violence fixations came from way too early exposure to the awful things that were happening. Obviously I have MH issues and probably would have even if I wasn't forced to listen to the news two hours a day but I wish I'd have been shielded from the world for longer than I was. You can't shield them from everything but you can do your best!

ElsaAintAsColdAsMe · 21/04/2016 17:25

What will you do when you protect her from the world, but then someone she knows dies?

You can't protect her from from a world she needs to grow up in, it's your job to make her understand things in an age appropriate way to get her ready for adulthood rather than bubble wrap her and then magically expect her to navigate a world she is just learning about alone.

Catanddogmake6 · 21/04/2016 17:28

On a practical note if you did want to introduce them to the news in a more age appropriate want there is a weekly newspaper for kids called First News and a magazine and The Week do an edition for kids as well.

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