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Am I reading too much into this? My MLM friend

(15 Posts)
Greyponcho Mon 18-Apr-16 08:03:20

I'll try to keeps this as succinct as possible without drip feeding.
I have a friend ive known since school, so around 20 years. Let's call him Tom. We've been there for each other when needed over the years: break ups with our partners, my depression, the passing of his dad, his mums MH issues, huge guilt issues he has about it his family stuff, etc.
A couple of years ago he got involved in ForeverLiving, & tried to recruit me, under the pretence of practicing his presentations on me, then as 'an answer to all my job woes' (who doesn't sometimes get frustrated at work, right? But its fine). I said no thanks, as it wasn't for me. I politely laughed off subsequent mentions of working for with him.
I've don't get involved in that side of his life whatsoever - I don't agree with what he does: he used some inheritance money to buy a car, but let's on that its because of FL. He lives in a mortgage-free house (his parents paid), his mum does the housework & let's on that he's got a great lifestyle because he's got no mortgage to pay and other consultancy jobs to fund him because of FL.

I have tried to remain there for him whenever he needs me, but it has since felt like every conversation gets turned around to aloe bloody vera, and therefore the friendship now feels a bit one sided. He'll call me up about a problem & I'll happily chat/reassure him etc., but after me having surgery and some side effects of some drugs, all I got was a f/book message recommending which FL products I try. It annoys me because Tom is a smart guy - studied at uni & a science background, yet he repeatedly gets sucked into these spurious claims.

But recently, Tom has been posting about ditching those who don't agree with you/hold you back/don't share the same vision to get ahead in life. A recent one (shared from a guy who promotes himself as a MLM success promoter) said that strangers are more likely to help you achieve your goals, than those who know you as they can't accept they're still stuck where you don't want to be. I indicated I found that hurtful, to which he replied "truth hurts [winky smiley]".

It's not the only post ive found hurtful (apparently, depression is living in the past, anxiety is worrying about the future, peace is living in the present hmm ). Given his own DMs MH issues, I thought he'd be more sensitive.

So I'm feeling angry 'right fine, lets see if these strangers are there for you when you need them' - AIBU? Or should I just ignore and wait for the big fall-out when the wheels fall off this whole FL for him ?

CoraPirbright Mon 18-Apr-16 08:24:32

There was a brilliant cartoon/diagram thingy on here a while ago showing just how bonkers the whole mlm thing is. Someone more clever than me will link to it. I would send him that with the comment "call me again when you are ready to live in the real world" & leave him to it. All this aloe vera shit really gets on my wick esp these utterly spurious claims that it can help more that just burns or simple skin abrasions.

acasualobserver Mon 18-Apr-16 09:06:46

In your place I'd give up on this friendship. I don't mean via some emotional showdown - I'd just let it fizzle out. Unless he has some massive turnaround, I can't see any future in it.

EatShitDerek Mon 18-Apr-16 09:10:21

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NeedACleverNN Mon 18-Apr-16 09:13:48

Just withdraw yourself from him.

When it all fails as it will try not to be too smug or mutter I told you so when it all fails.

Unless you want to of course

pinkcan Mon 18-Apr-16 09:20:30

Just dump him. Since you have nothing to lose, I'd send a message saying:

Dear Tom, you've been a great friend for the past two decades but since you became brainwashed by FL/MLM, you have become a bad friend: you deny the existance of my mental and physical health problems (and hence do not support me), you try to flog me stuff that I don't want to line your own pockets and use "motivational quotes" to send me passive aggressive messages rather than being upfront. You also misrepresent your lifestyle by implying that FL is funding it and I find this dishonest. So, best we leave our friendship here as it has gone. OP

I would avoid slating aloe vera because the plant itself is actually a nice plant that is quite useful to many people (I've seen them growing abroad - just sightseeing, not some demented MLM reason!). It is just a shame it's been commandeered by an MLM and had it's name dragged through the mud.

HarlotBronte Mon 18-Apr-16 09:25:56

It doesn't sound like you're getting enough from this friendship to make the downsides worth it.

mummytime Mon 18-Apr-16 09:26:17

I don't understand (well I do its because they are brainwashed) why people don't just buy a nice little Aloe Vera plant as a house plant. Then you can use the really pure stuff whenever you want (or a lot of them because you need it in your tea as well or whatever).

Dump him.

I know someone who got into it, I'm not really sure if she still is, as I managed to block all her Forever Living FB posts, but not the others. (And she certainly doesn't post about it in everything.)

LikeASoulWithoutAMind Mon 18-Apr-16 09:32:50

I'd gently let things fizzle out I think. Maybe start by unfollowing him on fb?

lottielou7 Mon 18-Apr-16 09:33:18

Everyone I know who has got involved with Forever Living only associates with other people who are involved with Forever Living. They manage to piss off everyone they ever knew and yes, it is a cult IMO.

I have no idea why someone would be shallow enough to sell out like that and lose people they've been close to their entire lives. I've seen posts on here about people who feel they don't know their own family member any more since they got involved with FL or any kind of MLM.

All you can do is let him go, OP.

Tiredemma Mon 18-Apr-16 09:36:45

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/2610201-MLM-Bot-Watch-18-chat-about-Utah-based-tragicomic-cultastic-racketeering-scamalangadingdongs-like-Forever-Living-Ariix-Herbalife-Younique-Juiceplus-etc-etc-etc

Join us.

we are on thread 18 about all this MLM nonsense.

I have a similar friend who keeps posting pictures of £2 million houses for sale with suggestions that she will be buying such property within the next 5 years when she 'retires'.
Deluded.

scarlets Mon 18-Apr-16 10:06:19

FL targets vulnerable people. Keep your distance for now. Hopefully he'll see sense eventually.

infife Mon 18-Apr-16 10:50:26

It is a cult, isn't it.

I have a relative to constantly posts about her holidays and life thanks to ACN. It's total bollocks, she did these things for years before she even heard of ACN.

Greyponcho Mon 18-Apr-16 11:01:12

Yes, Tom is/was vulnerable emotionally & for some reason, utterly determined to "be a huge success & rich"... But now it's at the stage where he's trying to "expand his businesses & mentor other people" find other avenues of making a living , perhaps because he's too heavily invested in FL to admit it's a crock of shit & why he's "helping others achieve their dream too" confused

I've got to unfollow & distance myself... seeing his posts just grates against my integrity me.

Such a shame, if only he'd apply his skills to something more honest else... sad

QueenofallIsee Mon 18-Apr-16 11:07:53

I would detach OP, I find that the MLM types start of by exploiting their friendships and soon start seeing everyone in terms of what they can get from them. Doesn't make for great mates really.

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