AIBU about cleaning?

[evilnaggingwife]

I need your help to clear something up.

My husband says that I am being unreasonable to keep nagging him about things and says it seems like I don't trust him to look after our son.

This is complete rubbish. Things I have reminded him about in last few days (not nagging, just kindly mentioned it in a calm tone)

1. we are about to start potty training and I always wash my hands after a wee. I want our son to follow this too. DH thinks it's not necessary to use soap after a wee.
   
   
2. when washing up an old sippy beaker of our sons milk (had been sitting in worktop overnight) today he didn't use washing up liquid. I said that he must use it as it was an essential part of washing up and we don't want our son to get poorly. He doesn't agree and thinks a quick rinse in water will be fine.
   
   now whilst I admit I am a bit over the top when it comes to cleaning surely I am not being unreasonable here! We have had quite a few tummy bugs since our son started nursery and I'm a big believer in basic hygiene!
   
   I could let these things go but he is certain he is correct and refuses to change.
   
   He is extremely sensitive to criticism and sees even the most minor comment as me "going on or nagging" etc.
   
   Votes please. Who is being unreasonable here?

[WhatamessIgotinto]

He is on both counts. Not washing your hands properly after having a wee is revolting and unhygienic and not washing a cup properly, particularly one with nooks and crannies on it like a child's cup is also unhygienic. Both are downright lazy too.

[evilnaggingwife]

Thanks! He has just told me that "30 years on this planet without washing my hands after a wee and I'm fine"

[Floggingmolly]

He's a manky bugger

[CheshireDing]

So he's touching his willy and not washing his hands ?! Ewwww :(

YANBU

DS is 2 and has just finished potty training, he is hand washing obsessed (as that is how he has been taught at nursery).

[Imnotaslimjim]

What cheshire said. ewwww.

And the sippy beaker needs scrubbing with hot soapy water or he risks making your son very poorly

[evilnaggingwife]

I know I can be hard work sometimes but I refuse to stand down about these 2 things! I don't see it as nagging.

the toilet thing isn't just about him. What if there was poop residue on the flush from person before you? Yuck!

[Junosmum]

I would never want his hand on me again! Both are gross. Particularly when you then consider that you sons dippy cup not only has old milk on it but also penis juice and wee. YANBU.

[WhatamessIgotinto]

Really OP, his hygiene leaves a lot to be desired. I'm not one for anti bac'ing everything within an inch of it's life but I honestly couldn't tolerate either of these things.

[meercat23]

He might have been OK for thirty years of not washing his hands but now he is using those unwashed hands to inadequately clean his DC's cup. Not only will the cup not be properly cleaned but he will have been handling it with unwashed hands. Gross and very unsafe for your DC

[DarkBlueEyes]

This kind of behaviour was one of the reasons I divorced my first husband. Just saying.

[evilnaggingwife]

Thanks all. Tempted to screenshot these comments and forward to DH to show I'm not wrong! I'm irritated that by pointing out an error, I am in the wrong because I am nagging and not showing him respect! Wtf!

[annandale]

I was just typing that I would be fine with this but actually realise that I wouldn't.

Judgment of Solomon: get rid of the sippy beakers, that solves that problem.

Further judgment of solomon: Reclaim the Nag. Is a site foreman nagging when he reminds the team to wear protective head gear? He may not want to be an employee in the team but raising children is sometimes a team project, or at least it is when you do it right.

Re his hands, yes that's shit tbh. Does that mean he's not wiping his cock after weeing either? Sounds like my xh who kept a little pool of stale urine in a place you don't want to find it. Having got rid of the sippy beakers you can focus all your nagging power on hand washing because that's really worth it.