I'm 19 weeks pregnant with my first child and no one seems excited or interested in it and it's starting to get me down.
I don't get on with my mother. There a lot of long seated reasons and basically she was a toxic person in my life. I reached out with wedding invitations when I got married and she started arguments over it and refused to go, neither did my father. I decided to try again by asking my husband to send her our scan picture. She said thanks but complained she'd already seen it on his Facebook (she didn't look at her messages for several days after it was sent). He replied with lots of info about how I was doing and to text me if she wanted and we never got another response from her.
My sisters ask how I am if I contact them first etc and have given me hand me downs but they have 10 kids between them so I feel like they're not bothered about mine. They don't seem overly interested and don't check up on me or anything to see how I'm doing.
DH's brother and his OH barely mention it if we see them (which isn't often as they live in the south, we live in the north). The OH's sister is 2 weeks behind me but announced much later and when they found out she got a big basket full of baby clothes, toys and pregnancy books etc and we didn't get anything.
We met up with my husband's parents tonight. We see them fairly often. I thought they, of all people, would be excited with this being their first grandchild and they seemed happy when we announced it but they've barely mentioned it. They don't ask about it, it doesn't get talked about, they don't seem excited or interested. They talked about themselves the entire night. Didn't ask how I was. In the middle my MIL asked when the scan is (as it's soon) and if we'd get pictures and that's the only time it was mentioned all night or even hinted at. Last time DH mentioned that no one seemed excited about it and that I'd like it if they were as I'd talked to him about being upset but it doesn't seem to have done anything.
DH is wonderful and supportive but I just feel like no one else cares.
I suffer from depression. I came off my meds to conceive (and they weren't working well) and have been fine up until the last few weeks where I've been seeing the odd symptom. I feel like this is all making it worse but I don't know if maybe it just seems worse because of the depression? AIBU to be upset?
Thanks for reading the long post.
AIBU?
To be upset that no one seems interested
Liss85 · 06/04/2016 00:32
I felt exactly the same when I showed MIL my scan photo of my first DS and she said 'you don't really get excited about your 6th grandchild', my DM isn't really the clucky granny type either, no knitted goods or useful hints coming from that direction either.
Luckily DH and me were excited enough so it didn't matter, sounds like you and your DH are the same.
Good luck OP, I'm v. happy for you 
Firstly a huge congratulations!
Pregnancy is wonderfully exciting.... For the pregnant people. It's only once the baby arrives that the fun really catches up for people. My own (perfectly lovely DPs) weren't nearly as thrilled as I'd assumed when I announced my first. They were beyond overjoyed once he arrived though, and have continued to act completely the same with subsequent children.
Although it's hard, try not to compare your situation to others, so what if she got a basket, you're having your very own child. Far more important. Unfortunately you're getting to the (nicely) 'boring' stage of pregnancy for others too. Once your next scan is done, people will just comment bastarding things like 'oh my God have you really got THAT long to go'
Can I ask, did you take yourself off your meds to conceive, or was this medically monitored? There are plenty of safe anti depressants for pregnancy and breastfeeding, I would hate these twinges to manifest into something more serious. I suffered prenatal depression and it was hideous. Please speak to your GP or midwife for some help with this. You are extremely vulnerable at this point.
Wishing you all the very best.
Aww. Your first little one. Of course you want everyone to be excited. There's nothing wrong with that. Absolutely you'd assume everyone would be delighted about this new little life.
Let me offer you a huge congratulations.. Take it easy. 
and . X
for you 
.
You sound a bit surrounded by self-absorbed types of folks what a load of boring fuckers they sound! Who doesn't get excited by a new family member on the way?
If you do begin to feel depression symptoms there are tablets you can take ante-natally. But absolutely yes, if you can go to the NHS group, or NCT if you are able. Great that DH is supportive, tbh that really is the most important right now.
I agree your mother sounds awful.
I'd second nct classes. Bumps and babies it used to be called. Aquanatal classes, yoga ect all good. Get out and about meeting positive people. Family aren't always the most important people in our lives. I have friends who are much closer to me than my siblings.
Congratulations to you and dh
It's sad that nobody can remember how exciting that first baby is. Your mother doesn't sound great so her not being excited about GC #11 isn't surprising. I guess the ILs are naturally closer to their DD wrt to presents and you're suffering from circumstance.
So yanbu to want a bit of fuss over your pfb. This is huuuuge for you and DH. Throw in unmedicated depression and it's no wonder you feel down.
and congratulations for you from me.
Have you joined an ante natal group on here? That's a great way to share excitement and enthusiasm amongst a group of women :)
You might want to ask MNHQ to edit your post OP, you've included a name,
Congrats but you really can't expect anyone to care about your pregnancy as much as you do, that might change after you have the baby but, again, nobody will care as much as you do.
The thing is, your pregnancy is happening to you every second of every day. As you get closer to the birth you are both very aware of the changes it brings. But to everyone else it is announcement, gender scan, birth. It just doesnt affect their lives to the same extent so they dont get the same level of excitement that you have.
Your issue with your mum is seperate I think, and you have done the right thing by giving up with her. But give your PILs a break, just because they dont talk about it all the time doesnt mean that they dont care.
Congratulations
Some of the older generation don't like to show too much excitement until the baby arrives safely.
Good suggestion to join an antenatal class. I attended an NHS one and it was very good. Now I see all the same mums at the school gate
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Massive congratulations, a first baby is such a special and exciting time. The only thing I can think to add to all the good advice above is that you can't change how others are you can only change how it affects you. Yes it's disappointing that that's their attitude but you, your DH, your unborn child and whatever other children you go on to have are your own family now. Since having my own family I've sort of stepped back from mine and DH relations, we still see them and have a good relationship most of the time but I couldn't care less if we have their interest or approval I'm too busy enjoying my babies! Sorry your feeling like this, it can't be easy especially when you've suffered from depression as well. I just try not expect anything from DH family and then I'm not likely to feel let down. Have lots of babies, live happily ever after with your DH, follow your passions and interests, do what makes you happy and start attending antenatal and mum groups now so you can start building up a tribe of people around you who bring happiness and positivity to your life. I think the more happy and excited you come across as the more chance others will be infected be it too. Extended family aren't the be all and end all. Hugs to you, we're excited for you 
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