I have had problems with my MIL for some time now. I just don’t know if I ABU to not be able to move past this.
She has had a very hard life, and as a result has a few emotional issues, but I think this is starting to become an easy excuse for her to just get away with anything.
She has never really liked me and the issues started when she asked me to leave my DH because I didn’t love him enough (pre engagement). I had to exclude her from wedding plans as she “hated” everything I wanted and DH just agrees with her to make her happy. But the real issues started when DS was born. As soon as he was born she went out and bought everything she could possibly find, I felt like I was being very ungrateful but there were items that I felt were not her place to pick, like things for his nursery (which she hadn’t even asked what the theme was – and items were not inline with our theme). But having just had a baby and very hormonal, I was reduced to tears every time she left after a visit because she bought things I wanted to pick out. Various other nasty comments thrown at me, e.g. Are you going to be one those girls who BF for ages? I mean, I don’t even know what her point was. And when DS was around 3 weeks, coming over and complaining to me that she was so tired having not had a very good nights sleep!!!
Anyway, I have tried my hardest to move on from all the above, but things have reached breaking point with us. She visited me one night when DH was away and had one too many glasses of wine. She starts shouting at me, saying I’ve ruined her relationship with her DS (my DH) and that if DH was good enough for me to marry my DS should be raised the same way. I ended up having to ask her to leave because I didn’t want her to wake DS. Her last shot was “I hope when DS grows up he ends up with someone like you”.
I can’t tell you the effort I have gone to to include her in everything and smooth our relationship. But right now I just can’t see the point in continuing. She literally acted like nothing had happened the next time I saw her. I had a text saying she can’t really remember anything but hopes we can just move on.
I just feel like she should be making an extra effort after her behavior, but she still just does as she likes with DS. I feel like I can’t trust her and want her to have minimal contact with my DS.
This all happened a few months ago now, and I’ve been waiting for things to get better. I haven’t seen her alone since, but she’s recently started asking to meet up again. AIBU to just outright say no? And how do I deal with her going forward?
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AIBU?
MIL issues *long post*
23 replies
kitkatjunky · 30/03/2016 18:44
OP posts:
LindyHemming ·
30/03/2016 18:51
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