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AIBU?

WIBU to call the police?

26 replies

NovaArt3mis · 15/03/2016 18:59

Upstairs neighbour have screaming arguments at least once a month for past two years.

I've often considered calling police (101, not 999) but never have until tonight. It's been significantly worse/louder tonight with lots of thumping noises and I think I heard a female scream at one point.

There's a husband, wife and teenage son. I think the fights are between the man and son.

I'm just really concerned. But I also feel guilty like this is none of my business.

The police didn't ask for my address, just name and number so I don't think I'll find out the outcome.

Did I do the right thing? I doubt it'll be the last time it happens. Also have no idea why I've come here looking for reassurance Confused

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hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman · 15/03/2016 19:01

If you have reason to suspect violence or any sort of abuse might be happening then yes, you did.

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yorkshapudding · 15/03/2016 19:02

You did the right thing. Imagine if you found out something really serious had happened to one of them, you'd feel awful for not reporting it.

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FuckYouChrisAndThatHorse · 15/03/2016 19:02

You absolutely did the right thing.

There was a poster recently whose neighbour called the police. It can make all the difference.

Flowers

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Room101isWhereIUsedToLive · 15/03/2016 19:02

Yes you did the right thing. I wish one of my neighbours had phoned the police when my mum and I were having another blazing row. It might have woken her up too how shit she was at dealing with me.

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NovaArt3mis · 15/03/2016 19:12

Thanks all.

Update: police called to ask where I lived. Came and had a chat. Apparently the teenage boy is in the flat by himself "he's having a bit of a hard time and was shouting and bashing around by himself".

Police say there's definitely no one else in the flat so I told them I heard a woman scream (not shout, scream) and the boy had said he had an argument with his mum and that she left.

It sounded so aggressive. I feel a bit silly now!

But you're right yorksha I thought about how I'd feel if I read something horrific in the news the next day!

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getyourfingeroutyournose · 15/03/2016 19:34

Remember the boy could be lying. He could be too frightened to tell the truth or he could be the one abusing his mum. He could be following in his dads footsteps. Or it could be innocent but either way the noise itself is a nuisance to you not in the least because it is making you anxious.
If they do it again I would call the police again until either someone tells the truth, they get caught out or they realise that the amount of noise they make when arguing isn't on. You can still argue without banging and shouting about it. You'll probably find they need support in some way and this is the start of them getting it.

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PoshSlapper · 15/03/2016 19:38

I wish our neighbours had called the police when my mum had been shrieking and raging at my sister. I was younger and tried all I could to calm stuff down so mum didn't start thumping my sister. A call from the police may have made us realise this was not normal and may have made my dad either a) aware it was happening or b)no longer able to pretend it was all OK (tended to happen when he wasn't at home).

You absolutely did the right thing. Screaming, yelling, thumping arguments on a regular basis are not normal.

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NovaArt3mis · 15/03/2016 19:40

I did think that at the very least if it is nothing sinister it might make them realise they're disturbing everyone.

I kinda wish one of the parents had been there when the police went round.

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lalalalyra · 15/03/2016 19:43

Please don't regret calling the police. You heard screaming and someone could have needed help. Also please don't let it stop you calling again.

When I was a kid a neighbour calling the police was the first point where people realised things were getting really out of hand.

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Princesspeach1980 · 15/03/2016 19:49

I work in a police control room and we get lots of calls like this. If the arguing was heated and any suggestion of possible violence and it warrants a 999 call and a blue lights response. sounds to me as though the family may not have quite told the truth to the officers who came out. The general consensus where i work is that we would rather attend 99 well intentioned false alarms, if it means we get to the 1 call where someone really was in danger.

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DawnOfTheDoggers · 15/03/2016 19:50

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NeedsAsockamnesty · 15/03/2016 20:01

A few years ago 5 of my neighbours called the police.

I don't know who those 5 people where but everyday I'm grateful to them.

It prompted armed police (lots of them coming to my at the time house) and I am not dead because they arrived with enough time to stop me becoming a murder stat.

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Narp · 15/03/2016 20:02

You did the right thing.

I've done the same (I was much younger and more scared of recriminations), and regret not doing it earlier

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lazyarse123 · 15/03/2016 20:07

You did the right thing, i've done it and would do it again.

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petergriffinmeetsdeath · 15/03/2016 20:13

I called the police on one of my neighbours massive arguments. My DH said I should have kept out of it, but I know the police did turn up about 45mins later and went in.

It was right before their wedding. I sort of wanted the female to know that this wasn't normal and prompt her to think about whether to continue the wedding arrangements.

They did get married, but the arguments seem to have settled.

Who knows?



It's not my job to investigate.

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EweAreHere · 15/03/2016 20:18

I called the police on neighbours once, as they were screaming and shouting and threatening each other on the streets with bats. Broad daylight. Four so-called grown ups.

Because I said they were armed (bats) it took FOREVER for the police to show up ... they waited until there were enough police to show up in a group, apparently. By then, all had fled.

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NovaArt3mis · 15/03/2016 20:19

I feel a bit better knowing I'm not just being an interfering bugger. I called DH and he completely supported decision. He's heard them before too.

So based on what everyone's saying, if it happens again I call again? I'd feel like a right nuisance but it's better than the possible alternative I guess.

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MrsDeVere · 15/03/2016 20:19

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MrsDeVere · 15/03/2016 20:21

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SirVixofVixHall · 15/03/2016 20:32

I have a stroppy hormonal 11 year old dd who will have meltdowns that involve her screaming at full vol on occasion, combined with door slamming (and huffy eye rolling, but that is at least silent). I do impose sanctions but it still happens sometimes. I am surprised no one has ever called the police tbh, because although it isn't frequent, it must sound horrendous. My smaller dd will do a single ear splitting scream if her sister tells her anything gruesome or frightening. So hopefully it is innocent. I do think police is the right call in this case though, I'm just feeling guilty for my poor neighbours who have nice quiet children....

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quietbatperson · 15/03/2016 20:33

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NovaArt3mis · 15/03/2016 20:37

Another update. The father just came to the door (I got a wee fright).

The son is 19 and has a lot of mental health problems. The father was very grateful that we called the police as the boy was hurting himself. He stayed and told us a bit more about their family situation and left his mobile number for if we're ever concerned about him.

The police have now registered him as a vulnerable person.

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MrsDeVere · 15/03/2016 20:44

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georgetteheyersbonnet · 15/03/2016 20:45

Yes, call the police - one night as students we were woken by an argument in the street below; one of our neighbours looked like he was being punched by another man. When the police (and ambulance) arrived it turned out that he had been stabbed; it became an attempted murder case :( If we hadn't called the police he might have died, as we couldn't really see what was going on clearly from our window.

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NovaArt3mis · 15/03/2016 20:49

Thanks MrsDeVere. Sounds very similar to your situation. I hope everything works out for you/gets easier with time.

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