..to not want to host a play date?

[FroggySoup]

My house is a bit of a tip. 1980s bathroom and kitchen that we haven't yet afforded to replace, two children's worth of clutter (everywhere), a dining/junk room with paint tester patches on the walls from when we moved in but haven't had a chance (for various reasons) to sort out....and a redecorated but very much lived in living room with food stained old sofas (that we shall replace once the toddler is past the food throwing stage!)

Anyhow, we were invited round to a lovely mum and baby's house for a play date. She said "Our house is a bit of a tip but it'd be lovely for the girls to play together!"...and I laughed and said "Oh tell me about it! Ours is such a tip at the moment!"...
Went along today for our play date and wow...just wow...stunning home! Extended, rennovated, pristine, clutter-free, stain-free and crumb-free.
AIBU to not want to invite them round to our actual tip? Will she be offended if I suggest a play date at the park instead?

[MattDillonsPants]

YABU. I had this too OP and I've learned that people don't really care and those that do...well....you wouldn;t want to know someone like that anyway would you?

At one point we had to leave our quite nice in retrospect house to live in a shitty little flat with a communal entrance....I had to keep inviting DDs friends round too because well...it wouldn;t be fair not to when they asked DD!

All DDs mates are from quite well off families...big detatched homes, pools...the lot. And there we were in this hovel!

At first I was painfully self consious and then though BUGGER IT if they don't like it then they don't have to come.

Nobody didn't come. All accepted repeat invitations.

[jlivingstone]

Everyone's house is different.

Don't be ashamed of what you have.

Our children go to a public school so some of our/their friends live in enormous places we couldn't even afford the utilities for let alone the mortgage. I'd happily have any of them come to ours.

Having said that, I hate clutter. It drives me crazy. Lacking funds to re-do a kitchen or bathroom or paint a dining room is fine and one of those things; have a tidy though.

[FroggySoup]

We do tidy but it's more of a throw out that we need. OH won't chuck stuff. We're a blended family and my step monkey is spoiled rotten because she lost her mum, so has three wardrobes and half a conservatory full of toys, whereas baby has a box room and her toys inhabit the living room. OH has something about cushions. We have billions of cushions. They're everywhere.

[mathanxiety]

That is a tough one, Froggy. You have the hoarding issues and also presumably it is hard to broach the issue of all of DSD's stuff without coming across as a curmudgeon.

Have DH and DSD done any grief counselling?

Would DH consider blended family-oriented counselling?

All of that aside, invite the mum around. Don't let the cushions define you.

[jlivingstone]

Well, if it cant be helped, it can't be helped.

Invite them anyway. If they're the kind of peope who care, they're not the kind of people to be friends with.