Tupperware Cluedo

[LadyShirazz]

So, last weekend I did my monthly freezer cook - minus what was eaten over the course of a weekend, what in the event went into the freezer was:

1 x tupperware box* of sag aloo
1 x tupperware box of beef rendang
1 x tupperware box of chicken curry
4 x tupperware box of lentil "bolognese"
3 x tupperware box of lentil and root vegetable casserole

*Contents of each tupperware would serve two (and a bit) adults for dinner.

I know this, as I boxed and labelled them up collectively this time last week am a bit photographic memory about these kind of trivialities, and we've not actually eaten any of them since.

Intended to dish up another round of curry for dinner tonight - only to find just the chicken one still intact. Sag aloo and beef rendang have since mysteriously disappeared - and yes, I've searched! On investigation, I also noticed that 2 boxes on lentil bolognese have also gone AWOL, but (strangely - given it's the nicest recipe - IMHO) all the lentil casserole boxes have all survived the week intact.

Now I fear I'm going insane.

In the frame for unseen non-conventional mealtime consumption are DH, lodger, cleaner, or - technically - me (it definitely wasn't me - I did put on 5lb in a week this week, but am fairly certain I know the reason for that, and it's not related). No children in the house.

Did I just imagine cooking and storing all this freezer fare at all...????

Am fairly sure not - it took me bloody forever last Saturday.

[CustardOmlet]

You have a very happy lodger!

[LadyShirazz]

I really don't think so though Custard...

Lodger is straight as a die - been here donkeys now, and never had any kind of problem whatsoever. He's a quite high-up-the-rankings professional chef, so not generally interested in my paltry culinary offerings - unless we've invited him and he's being polite. Which we often do, but we don't have an "eating each other's freezer food" deal" at all - we're all in our thirties (me) or fifties (DH and Dlodger), so generally past the "stealing people's food stage - particularly so many all at once! I'd have noticed, just from residual kitchen smell, surely...??

That said, lodger has been on the first "proper" period of annual leave this week since he moved here way back when - could he have indulged during the day while we're at work...? I just really, really can't see it - he would let us know and offer to cook in return...

[LadyShirazz]

Further background information, for anyone out there who cares!:

Husband (chronic insomniac) has form for nighttime eating - but generally toast / chips / cheese etc, rather than proper meals. If - on the rare occasion - he does raid a freezer meal I've made, he generally eats a few bites, leaves the box out, and wakes up reeking of whatever he's eaten in the early hours. Put it this way - he leaves his traces, foodwise! This is the man who leaves cheese marks in cheddar - it's just not his MO to eat a whole two-person meal to himself, quietly and non-obtrusively, and then think to wash up right afterwards. It's just not his MO.

Cleaner... Hmmmm. We've recently had to tell the agency we're no longer in a position to maintain a cleaner - twice in the last couple of months she's cleaned, but then said we hadn't left the money out, when we know for a fact we did always scrabble about for it the night before. First time couldn't swear to it, so let it go - second (just last week), well, fool me twice and all that... Did not put this accusation towards the agency - I couldn't bring myself to it, just in case (really don't think so, but don't want to ruin someone's life on the off chance...) I was mistaken on both occasions.

Cleaner has returned the keys to the agency today, but conceivably could have accessed the flat anytime between Tuesday and Friday evening. But stealing freezer food...? Surely there are better ways to wreak vengeance...? Like shitting in our airing cupboard or something....?

[PuntasticUsername]

You must have a massive freezer to fit all those big boxes in.

[BrieAndChilli]

Where are the Tupperware boxes? If they are missing too it could have been cleaner, if they are washed up and back in cupboard then I would ask husband and lodger

[HowBadIsThisPlease]

It's someone who has been able to take it away and eat it elsewhere. you can't eat curry and not leave a smell in the house.

The cleaner may be desperate. Lying about the money sounds a desperate thing to do, it sounds like she doesn't have enough. She isn't thinking big and selling your jewellery, she is looking at scraping together enough cash to get by. This fits with the idea that she might have taken your food thinking you wouldn't miss it, and just not having enough to feed the family. Also: lentil and root vegetable casserole sounds to me like it might be the hardest sell to kids which may be why she took the others (if she did)

I would be furious if I were you, that's a lot of cooking. But she might just think "it's just leftovers" "the freezer is always full she won't know"

If it's her you will never find out

[HowBadIsThisPlease]

Another point about the cleaner: lying about the money and taking the food take the same pattern of wishful thinking (again, desperation) of just deciding to believe that you are more scatty than you are. There are people who aren't that closely aware of what's where in their house. she has just decided, without much evidence, perhaps grasping at straws, that you are one of them and this same hopefully defiant "it wasn't there!" approach is evident in each case

[EnidB]

Hi, I can't solve your missing food problem, I lost a box (Lakeland stack-a-box) of lemon chicken casserole myself this week - thought I'd hallucinated freezing it, but definitely remembered writing the label. But can I have the lentil bolognese recipe please?

[LadyShirazz]

Not a massive freezer no - just don't have much else in it besides OH's bread and oven chips!

I don't like to think it was any of those three - but the alternative is to for me to have completely imagined cooking at all! And I'm 99.9% certain I did!

No random curry smells - and now I think about it yes the tupperware (well, plastic boxes saved from our last takeaway) is gone too.

The cleaner I know has had some health issues with anxiety and panic attacks (we don't normally see her when she comes as are at work but crossed paths and she spilled her whole life story - which was awkward in itself). We didn't tell the agency our suspicions, in the hope that - if she really did do this out of desperation - she'll take it as a hint that customers notice these things, and not do it again. I don't want to ruin her life over accusations I couldn't swear to in a court of law.

I don't have any expensive jewelry, other than engagement and wedding rings, which stay on my finger - which leaves just the laptops as only real things of value in the flat, and would definitely be missed.

[LadyShirazz]

Lentil spag bol is just normal spag bol with red or brown lentils substituted :)

[shinynewusername]

It's DH. Mine once blamed the dog for eating half a bowl of bolognese sauce that I'd made for 40 people (bonfire night). I was unconvinced the dog would have managed to replace the cling film

[LadyShirazz]

I don't think so this time shiny.

DH has a long and inglorious history of midnight destruction of home-cooked meals I've lovingly prepared - his record was half a chicken ham and leek pie in the night, that was supposed to serve 8 people! And that was after having a slice for dinner as well! I dread to think of the calories consumed that particular evening.

But he only goes on one of his midnight binges when he's already half out of it with fatigue, so is sloppy. If he has nachos, there are nacho crumbs all over the sofa, living room and kitchen floor. If he has cheese, it is literally big bites out of the cheddar, which I have the deep joy of finding when I next go to grate some cheese. If it were curry, he would eat most of it, leaving some sauce, and put it back in the freezer (why???). And there would be spoons covered with curry sauce around the kitchen, plus a curry smell he'd done nothing to disguise. It is a problem, definitely.

But this really doesn't fit his pattern at all. For one thing, he'd not go anywhere near lentils if he had any say in the matter!

[shinynewusername]

Well with that many curries and pulses missing, surely your nose can solve this mystery?

[LadyShirazz]

I'm afraid we're both chronically flatulent at the best of times, so no help there...

[SoupDragon]

Do you have a teenage boy you haven't previously noticed?

[SoupDragon]

He could be camping out in your loft, leaving only to forage. You won't notice him unless you change the wifi password.

[WhispersOfWickedness]

It's the cleaner

[PuntasticUsername]

"If he has cheese, it is literally big bites out of the cheddar"

Ewwwwwwwww

LTB.

[DoJo]

Did you ever get to the bottom of this OP?!

[LadyShirazz]

Nope! Will remain one of those unsolved mysteries for ever more...