I'm in my early twenties.
It's just struck me that I've never been really, truly happy. Before I continue, I've been very lucky not to have suffered any major tragedies (touchwood) and have a family, and nice friends.
But nevertheless I think back on the previous years, say from the years of 13-23. I can't recall ever having "let go" and enjoyed the moment. Even when with friends, when I should have been at my happiest, I would be tortured with anxious thoughts and constantly worrying about what was round the corner.
I'm really, truly sick of it. I've never ever been comfortable in my skin or at ease with myself and just feel like I'm living half a life really. I don't want to waste the rest of my youth/whole life (!) away!
Should I go on medication? I've tried therapy, didn't work. Neither has "faking it til you make it": I can be bubbly and fake-confident to the point of annoying myself (and I'm sure others!) but then find myself plagued with thoughts of anxiety and self-doubt. I fucking hate it. It's shit.
Please help
PS My parents, while nice people, are glass half empty and have suffered from bouts of depression. Intersted to know whether this may be genetic.
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AIBU?
to feel like I've been living my life from the sidelines?
18 replies
LivingInPersonalBubble · 27/02/2016 21:34
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