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To ask how much effort other people make to arrange to see friends?

(6 Posts)
BlueberryFanta Mon 22-Feb-16 14:24:21

I just wondered as I am quite fed up of making all of the effort in all of my friendships and arranging everything, but quite literally if I didn't then I would never hear from anyone/see anyone/go out with friends.

I have in the past had a couple of weeks here and there where I have made no effort because of illness or because I've felt a bit low and heard from no one at all.

Any meet ups, coffees, nights out, even conversations have to be initiated by me, or they don't happen. And this is with all friends, groups and individual. Friends from groups will sometimes arrange to see each other in pairs or smaller groups but no one invites me to these. Basically if I want to see anyone from groups of friends then I have to make the effort and the initiative.

The only person who makes contact with me without me making contact first is my best friend whom I've known since I was little, but we live hundreds of miles apart so can't see each other very much at all.

How much effort do you make to initiate contact with friends?

CooPie10 Mon 22-Feb-16 14:31:57

We have a chat group and make arrangements on there. So someone suggests something and everyone knows the plans, it's not individual invites.

wigglebum84 Mon 22-Feb-16 14:33:40

No idea as I don't have any sad

I thought I had one good friend but it appears she's moved on to bigger and better things in life.

ComeonSummer1 Mon 22-Feb-16 14:56:33

Oh wiggle that's a sad post!

Op I am a lazy are and in our group of friends we have an organiser that sorts all meet ups out, books tables and spa trips. She's so efficient the rest of us just let her get on.

I expect that's the case with your friends and it's laziness rather than not wanting up see you.

CantChoose Mon 22-Feb-16 15:16:14

Very little. I am a rubbish friend.
Though I do find that I'm more likely to make effort with the ones who make more effort from their end too. Partly out of guilt but also because I'm reminded of how much I do actually enjoy spending time with them.
So maybe most of my friends are also rubbish smile in our defence, we almost all work full time with demanding jobs and don't live close to each other. It can be exhausting trying to fit in a 'normal' amount of socialising...

MagratsFlyawayHair Mon 22-Feb-16 18:54:47

The friends I have now are people who are like me in the amount they want to socialise and ability to instigate. In other words the people five surrounded myself with split the work.

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