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AIBU to stick up for myself

(6 Posts)
MrsOs Tue 16-Feb-16 22:08:02

I posted on facebook tonight a funny story that my ds came in from nursey and when he was watching a cartoon i asked him about his day and he replied i dont want to talk mum...

My sister commented like his mum then.

I took it as a bitchy comment and not sure why i text her what was that about? Why the bitchy remark? She said it is just one of my charcteristics..

My sister is 60, 20'yrs older than me, we arent particularly close! She never calls me so has can she say i dont talk? Whenever we interact she is never necessarily nice and can be bloody nasty. Never known why, well today i snapped and asked her what i have ever done to her to make her be so bitchy to me, that i have never been nothing but nice to her and still the nastiness and that it hurts.

She said i was lovely when i was 3 now im 40 and aggressive. She never takes responsibility for what she says or does.. Its always me being sensitive and usually she will tell me to take a chill pill. Whenever i get upset and retaliate im in the wrong.

Ive had enough of it, been wearing me down for years so i spilled my guts saying how it all makes me feel. But true to form she unfriends me on facebook! My sisters have always been complete bitches and i have idea why was never nasty to any of them.

There is alot more i could write but wont bore you all.. But was i right to stand up for myself after years of bitchy comments? I think unfriending me just shows what little she thinks of me.

BreatheandFlyAway Tue 16-Feb-16 22:15:01

My much older half sisters were always fairly horrible to me - I realised much too late that it was because they felt threatened by the "new" children. They're quite stingy and grudging by nature. Could this be a similar situation? try not to take it to heart. Look on bright side - you don't have to deal with her anymore - and no guilt because she's made the choice, yay! Concentrate on your lovely young 'un (who she's probably jealous of).

It's typical of a bully to say their victims are too sensitive or lacking humour after a nasty comment btw. But remember (took me too long to learn this with EA H) if it makes you uncomfortable/sad/hurt - it's wrong.

MrsOs Tue 16-Feb-16 22:37:39

When i took mum and her on holiday last year with my son they were both doing their best to wind me up, i had a terrible time as a result and when we got back and dropped my and her off they basically admited to winding me up because its funny.

WorraLiberty Tue 16-Feb-16 22:44:18

There must be a huge back story because I can't see anything other than a funny quip.

Do you generally find it hard to laugh at things at your own expense? Or is it really just that you find your sister is always nasty?

BreatheandFlyAway Tue 16-Feb-16 23:13:28

Humour at one's own expense from family is always a very mine fieldy area IME. They know where it hurts and little agendas come into play, however much the heartier members of a family deny. I used to scoff at people finding too much meaning in insults dressed as jokes - now realise was conditioned to accept as such, which set me up for life of EA. Not always so extreme, I know, but even small knife digs hurt - and for why?

MrsOs Wed 17-Feb-16 00:46:37

I have a sense of hunour but my sisters and to some extent also my mum have been laughing at my expense all my life. I have finally had enough.

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