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AIBU?

WWYD-work/promotion dilemma

37 replies

Sammy135 · 31/01/2016 23:35

I started a new job 4 months ago. New job is in the same area of work, but a change in career and a bit of a step down for me (graduate entry, I have a post grad qualification and work experience). I knew when accepting the job but really wanted to build a career in that role though so accepted on the basis that when I had learmed the basics and gained some experience of that specific job I would be promoted.

Had an appraisal last week and it was agreed that I would be promoted as per the contract. I was asked not to discuss it witH the others in my team till all appraisals were over. Fine by me.

There are two others in the same role as me, one who started 6 months ago, one 10. Our email signatures contain our job roles and are not updated by us, HR does this. This weekend I replied to an email, then another, ended up in a chain. Next email comes through, asking to refer to info in a previous one, so I scroll down to find that there have been quite a few email exchanges in between that I have not been included in and they are discussing my change in role and are clearly not happy, going to discuss it with me tomorrow. The overall tone is that I have been deceitful and have used them as they trained me (I had to shadow everyone on the team on different tasks as part of my training, this is routine).

I really don't know how to handle this. I have no interest in their contracts/promotions/appraisals. All I know is that I can justify mine, I bring a lot to the team because of my experience, I perform well and it was in my contract. I just feel so awkward because they clearly feel aggrieved and their emails suggest it's because of me!

WWYD? How would you respond? I don't want to get dragged into justifying it, but were a small team, sit together and need to work together, and I don't think they will give up!

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Sammy135 · 31/01/2016 23:36

Omg that was long-wanted to give some info and ended up writing an essay!

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ImperialBlether · 31/01/2016 23:38

Who is going to raise it with you tomorrow?

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BillSykesDog · 31/01/2016 23:39

Forward to HR. TBH it's unprofessional and childish and illustrates exactly why you have been promoted and they haven't.

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Sammy135 · 31/01/2016 23:45

The two girls who were on the same role as me and one who is on my current role (but who took 1.5 years to get promoted) have all been discussing it, and me. The most vocal of the 3 is going to confront me tomorrow. The only other non management level member of the team has been cc'd in but not contributed.

My line manager and our client have been removed from the discussion for those emails, but are back in and can easily scroll down as I did. Not sure if they have seen yet.

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maddening · 31/01/2016 23:50

forward to hr and shut down any confrontation eg "I don't think this is an appropriate forum for this discussion but we can speak to line manager as to the best way to approach your concerns"

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venusinscorpio · 31/01/2016 23:52

They're either all a bit stupid or they knew you would read the emails and sent them in a passive aggressive way.

I think you should run this by your manager, including the indiscreet emailing. You are going to have to do something or it will get out of hand. As PP said, this is precisely why you're getting promoted and they aren't. It really isn't up to them to "raise" anything with you, if they have a problem they need to speak to their line managers. Very unprofessional.

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RB68 · 31/01/2016 23:53

you refer her to your manager - she has mishandled it and it was her decision. She needs to explain it to the team not you. Personally I would also if they approached me say that they need to speak to your manager as well - promotion is not always based on being able to do a job and train others, its about other skills, tact and diplomacy being two they all seem to lack!

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venusinscorpio · 31/01/2016 23:56

It doesn't sound like they actually "trained" the OP, shadowing various people to see what they do is quite a common induction technique. I've been shadowed by senior managers and directors as part of their induction, I didn't expect to get their jobs.

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Sammy135 · 01/02/2016 00:12

They definitely didn't train me- I'll never forgot the months of e-leading and remote training. But they I did shadow them and appreciated their help if I had questions. They have gained from me too though-that's how teams work. Never seemed to have a problem till this weekend.

I'll definitely direct them to their managers. I just don't want to get into justifying why I got promoted, and from the tone of the emails they don't see why I do, based entirely on length of service. Ir i say why I deserve it I'm concerned they will take it as a personal slate ie I've done this (they hear you haven't tagged on at the end).

Maybe I'm over thinking and they will leave it as speak to your manager!

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trixymalixy · 01/02/2016 00:18

They're going to confront you about it?!?! Very unprofessional of them. I would tell them to take it up with their manager.

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Sammy135 · 01/02/2016 00:25

From the emails, their problem is that I have been deceitful, have used them to get promoted, haven't put in my time to get promoted and that it's unfair.

The way I see it is that it's not their business, therefore to not tell them isn't deceitful, having me shadow them and helping out with induction stuff is part of their CURRENT role and development, my promotion isn't based on time spent but my full skill set and performance.

Their problem is with management-it's not my place to decide if they should be promoted or not. Sadly, they just don't seem to be on the same line of thought!

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JeanSeberg · 01/02/2016 00:26

Don't even contemplate getting into a discussion with them. Never explain, never apologise. This is a part of dealing with promotion you'll have to get used to.

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Sammy135 · 01/02/2016 00:31

In my last job colleagues were pleased to see others do well. I suppose it's just a different environment, much more corporate, so haven't came up against this!

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BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted · 01/02/2016 01:13

You accepted this less responsible role on the understanding that you would be promoted in the fullness of time. The others were not party to that understanding, and it has FA to do with them. You are being promoted on your own merits, and that has FA to do with them as well. Who gives a shit what they think?

Should your line-manager scroll down and read the whole exchange their promotion prospects will be zero if they are not that already. Their indiscretion in allowing their bitching to reach the line-manager, never mind a client (!) could mean there's a case for an allegation of gross misconduct. Give the fuckers enough rope et cetera.

Don't get into a discussion with them about this issue. You do not need to justify anything to them. But they are going to have an awful lot of explaining to do if they want to hang onto their jobs.

If your line-manager hasn't read the whole exchange by now you should suggest they do so when you get in tomorrow morning.

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Namechangenell · 01/02/2016 01:14

That sounds awful.

Depending on how you're feeling, I'd be tempted to copy them and their managers in with something about how you seem to have been sent these emails in error! Or copy to HR and ask the managers there to clarify when your colleagues became part of the "new" HR team?!

Highly unprofessional and they deserve to be thoroughly reprimanded.

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venusinscorpio · 01/02/2016 01:15

You've done nothing wrong. They sound very young/immature to me, although I realise they may not be! Promotion is rarely entirely based on length of service in my experience, plus it was agreed when you started. They've only been there a few months longer than you anyway, it's not like they've been in the job 15 years!

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Sammy135 · 01/02/2016 01:38

Bitter- I have been so anxious about what to say tomorrow I just glossed over the consequences of the client seeing it! They will clearly think it's unprofessional but an even bigger issue is that the work is regulated by global government agencies and all email exchanges between us and the client must be logged and submitted as part of any audit.

We are all in our 20s. two younger than me, one came straight from uni this year, the other has worked in that role for a different company straight from uni, then to the job she has now. The other is older than me but has done two under grad degrees and been travelling so hasn't built up the skill set I have. I am far more qualified than the previous role, it's very process driven and is a training type job, but needed to get experience in the basics. Normally it takes a good 2.5-3 years to get promoted but that's for someone fresh out of uni.

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Baconyum · 01/02/2016 02:09

I have been in almost exactly this situation. Refer to line manager and hr. Don't explain apologise or justify they have no right to expect such.

I was promoted after 2 months in post due to better skills, experience and willingness to do whatever was required. 5 colleagues had more time in with the company than me. 2 were furious, one had 15 years more time served than me but was lazy and incompetent and would definitely have showed favouritism as a boss. The other was younger but with more time at the company and thought (thanks to older colleague winding her up) that was what mattered. Line manager calmed younger one down. All fine. Older one tried to undermine me and acted in a way that affected everyone's work. She had already had warnings for the laziness and ended up with a formal warning for her actions.

Don't let them get to you its jealousy and sour grapes.

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fabulousathome · 01/02/2016 02:19

Best to keep quiet and wait for others to bring it up. If your colleagues start talking about it to you directly say that they should speak to your manager as it's not up to you who is promoted.

They are naive to commit their thoughts to emails that may or will be seen by their bosses. They will, hopefully, now learn not to do this.

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Mistigri · 01/02/2016 05:28

If this has gone to a client, you should not reply at all, but send the whole thing to your manager to deal with!

In this case I would say it's up to your manager to involve HR, or not, as s/he sees fit.

If approached in person, say politely that if they want to discuss it, they should do so with their line manager.

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Clearoutre · 01/02/2016 06:04

I like fabulous' suggestion of doing nothing, this is a colleague's issue with a decision that their boss has made, and actually it was made a long time ago.

As well as the prestige of being promoted you unfortunately also need to deal with the envy that can come with it, this happens whether or not you happen to see an email about it although it's not nice or professional to see yourself being talked about like that. I'd make a note of whoever was dim enough to copy you in and not bother with them in the future.

I think the best way to cope AND the best thing for your career is to step into your new role so it's clear to your bosses and colleagues that the right decision has been made.

As a side note, I've only ever seen this happen once but don't suffer in silence if colleague-envy turns into something more sinister.

Any half witted colleague will realise that you're someone worth impressing now, especially if they're less senior than you.

You're learning the hard way that the pressure of being promoted extends beyond demonstrating your professional capabilities. You have to look up and focus on where you want to be even if that means being less friendly with a few sour grapes, if they have any sense they will get over it.

Congratulations on the promotion, go treat yourself!

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DarkRoots · 01/02/2016 06:21

Exactly this happened to me. I forwarded the emails to my manager with a discreet 'FYI' and took screen shots just for myself, then ignored it. Entirely.

DO NOT get dragged into dramas in the work place! Some people find it difficult to differentiate between friendship groups and colleagues. It's a work place, FFS!

I was once promoted above a long serving member of staff and had to cope with all of this, and accusations that reached me 5th hand about favouritism and so on. The first few times it gnawed at me and I was awake all night thinking of the best person to tell and justify myself too. Then I thought 'not my problem', remained nice and positive to everyone and let the fullness of time prove why k had been promoted and not the other person. Quickly became a non-issue.

If they 'confront' you (?!!!), calmly tell them you are sorry they feel that way, then recommend they speak to HR. That's it. Don't muddy the waters explaining or bringing emotion into it. Be professional!

Good luck.

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Mistigri · 01/02/2016 06:27

I don't think you can do nothing, given what you have said about it going to a client, and the fact that your email address appears in the email thread. If you don't react, you're complicit.

I would be in back-covering mode here, and I would forward the email directly to my line manager to sort out the mess, making it clear that the reason you are doing so is because a client has been copied on the email exchange, and there is a reputational risk to your company.

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Katenka · 01/02/2016 06:41

Forward it to your manager so they are aware what's happened and that a client has seen it.

If she 'confronts' you tell her you will not discuss your business with her. Emphasis on the your business.

I actually doubt she will say anything. Sounds like a lot of hot air to me. Is she really going to tell you that you don't deserve promotion and that she had a right to know?

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Nomoregrief · 01/02/2016 08:35

There are 3 issues here;

  1. The use of work emails to discuss what is essentially a personal problem some staff have with you.
  2. The fact that a client may well have seen this.
  3. The audit trail which means this is now on permanent record.


2 & 3 seem to me to be issues which the management team should be aware of. Circulating those emails to a client is unprofessional at best, a cause for disciplinary action at worst.

I would copy the email to your managers/HR citing issues 2 & 3. I am sure they will work out issue 1 for themselves.
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