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Auntie hijacking parents anniversary trip

(8 Posts)
Sunbeam1112 Fri 15-Jan-16 09:38:56

I have written previously about my Auntie under a different name some years ago when she would often call unannounced to see DS after we finished work and stay for long periods.

Background- my DA is my mums sisters, shes has never married or had a relationship in the time i've been alive. She lived with my nana until she died and has lived on her own ever since.

DA has no children of her own and has enjoyed been able to go abroad sometimes as often as 3-4 a year which is her right. My parents have been unable to go abroad together but sometimes holiday away together in the UK.

My DA has been grumbling that shes not been away this year and hinting of tagging along on my parents weddig anniversary. I've spoken to DM and said she should be able to go with DF on their own especially due to his recent health problems. They may never get the opportunity to go.

DA was saying how lonely she is and in the end made my DM feel bad shes invited her! I'm so annoyed. To add insult to injury shes went and booked a cruise with her friend and arranged to go down to visit her brother in Wales! My DA is a very caring lady but sometimes she can be so unreasonable. I wish i could say something to her but my DM said no aibu.

Leelu6 Fri 15-Jan-16 09:51:31

I understand why you're upset, but it's really up to your mum and dad to decide.

Your mum knows her sister best. It must be hard for your aunt to see everyone coupled up with kids, and she has lost her mum too.

Sunbeam1112 Fri 15-Jan-16 09:57:34

My auntie lost her mum before i was born. I'm 29 years old. I just sometimes feel she takes advantage of them being soft. They don't want to upset her but sometimes she crosses boundaries that shouldn't be crossed. She can pick of my dad sometimes which really pisses me off to the point i've had ago at her.

pasturesgreen Fri 15-Jan-16 09:59:24

This is for your DM to deal with, stay well out of it.

5Foot5 Fri 15-Jan-16 13:26:32

Well I can see why people say it is for the DM to deal with but personally I think if I was OP I would say something to the Aunt.

The DM will presumably put up with it because she would feel bad saying no to her sister. But the aunt clearly does have other friends and opportunities to holiday.

rookiemere Fri 15-Jan-16 13:37:55

If you can afford it can you treat your DPs to a night or couple of nights away as a present. Doesn't need to be mega pricey, groupon often do good deals and as presumably your parents are retired they can go mid week which often makes for better offers as well.

That way at least they'll get a couple of nights away on their own together as well as the holiday with the aunt.

Whatdoidohelp Fri 15-Jan-16 13:54:10

However irritating it is your mum has to deal with it. I wouldn't be able to hold my tongue on it though and would probably say something.

WhereYouLeftIt Fri 15-Jan-16 13:55:49

"My DA is a very caring lady but sometimes she can be so unreasonable. I wish i could say something to her but my DM said no aibu."
Honestly, I would ignore my mother saying 'no' here. I would talk with my aunt, play on her 'caring' side and point out that your mum & dad's holidays are rarer and therefore more meaningful than when you can go away several times a year, this is a special occasion and does she really think it's appropriate to muscle her way in here. Perhaps she should contact your mother and back out of the holiday, given that her reason for playing gooseberry (and I would definitely use the word 'gooseberry' to her) has since been resolved (by her arranged cruise with her friend).

And if that didn't work, I'd probably tear a strip off her and tell her to stop being so bloody selfish.

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