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To expect DH to step up

(11 Posts)
Dollymixtureyumyum Sun 10-Jan-16 15:05:47

I am really ill so sorry if this post is a bit wishy washy. I have samenella poisoning and it's horrible. Despretlt want to go into work tomorrow as on my probation perod and all absences count against you.
Yesterday DH fobbed 2 year old Ds on his parents and basicly had a Day doing nothing. While bringing me the odd drink up etc. I came down to help DH do his bedtime.
Today I have stayed in bed but have to keep getting up as i keep hearing Ds screaming and DH shouting. Everything I have gone down DH is watching sport on telly while Ds has been given the I pad to entertain himself, obviously this has not gone down to well with Ds who is board.
I have told DH to get up off his arse and take Ds out for a walk, he has gone but in a bit huff
On the whole is a great with Ds but he seems to go into this huge man child when he need to look after him for a full day on his own. Half a day fine, three quarters of a day fine but a full day seems to throw him!!!!
Also he is off work tomorrow as well so gets another day to himself while Ds is at nursery

Dollymixtureyumyum Sun 10-Jan-16 15:10:14

Work wise I am in line for a promotion. I am on probation with this Jon but I have worked with the company before so they know me very well. I also went for my managers job but just missed out and got this one. Now my manager who has not been great is leaving already and they are promoting in house. My over manager has said she wants me to apply and I am the only one in the organisation with the relevant qualifications. But this will mean me going full time and DH who is a supply teacher cutting his hours to look after Ds. Won't work will it

DoreenLethal Sun 10-Jan-16 15:12:00

I am sure it will if he is forced into it. Why should you miss out on a promotion just because he is a lazy fucker?

Dollymixtureyumyum Sun 10-Jan-16 15:15:04

That's what gets me he isn't lazy. He works loads and runs a youth group alongside and is always wanting to go out as a family. He does his fair share around the house and will sit and entertain Ds for hours but he seems to go into meltdown when he needs to have him for a full day as if it panics him or something.

Dollymixtureyumyum Sun 10-Jan-16 15:17:15

I work for a charity that is not very rich and he is coming in to do a load of decorating for a few hours a week for free. So I can't call him lazy or normally selfish. Not sure what is going on I have talked to him but he said he doest know himself

Gliblet Sun 10-Jan-16 15:21:56

Maybe it does panic him? I work, DH looks after DS through the week - I have to admit at weekends I love spending all day with DS but it's hard work! I'm not in the habit/routine so everything takes more thought, planning etc. Doesn't mean I don't love doing it but I can see how it could be daunting.

Dollymixtureyumyum Sun 10-Jan-16 15:25:43

Hmm never thought of it that way. He has also suffered from quite bad anxiety in the past so maybe that is creeping up again. God I hope not as that was a nightmare for all of us, trying to raise his self esteem bit by bit while his parents knocked it down bit by bit angry
I need to have another talk with him. Anyway they are out at the moment and everything is quiet so going to have a nap. Will update if needed a bit later

myotherusernameisbetter Sun 10-Jan-16 15:34:34

Might not be as much sport on during the week to grab his attention?

Seriouslyffs Sun 10-Jan-16 15:38:25

No ones at their best today.
Concentrate on getting better and review in a few weeks time.

Asskicker Sun 10-Jan-16 15:45:36

When I had dd (our first) I used to dread weekends.

I worked mon-fri and could never think of things to do with her. Dh worked. Going for walk etc a seemed a bit over whelming and pointless.

No idea why. Also after working all week I was knackered. But scared to take dd out alone etc.

It just took some time and confidence.

At the time if you had asked me why I didn't I would have said ' I don't know why I stay in with her'

Not really sure what the answer is. I just got fed up of being in all the time. I started just walking her to mums that took 30 mins. Then into town and to mums. Then town, park and mums.

But I had every weekend. So got bored. Not sure if that will work with your dh as its only occasionally

Sallyhasleftthebuilding Sun 10-Jan-16 15:47:20

He's a teacher!! He needs to organise the flash points - mid morning walk/park - afternoon wind Dow before nap - bit of paint glue before tea etc - but be flexible!! He needs a bit of training!! And ignore his parents.

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