After another family ishoo , I'm beginning to wonder if I'm just a bad apple
I have very rarely (never?) had a falling out with my friends - some I've known for over 12 years . No issues with work colleagues / general people .
"Family " is my issue . I've been betrayed in trust by my family in my younger years.
My father walked out when I was small and never looked back . Mum sold me out to save her own back in my late teens . My step parents I rarely see , they don't make an effort . I feel like I tried before seeing the one way street it was and giving up - but that could be my perception .
I get on great with my PIL - not so much my BIL. There have been major rows , some admittedly , which have been down to my stubbornness , but mostly have been down to BIL inability to discuss - he verbally attacks .
I suffer from anxiety and I can be over sensitive and find it hard to put things in to perspective .
So today , I've had a disagreement, not an argument, with my sister over something which has been brewing for a while.
It will blow over . But I feel like shit .
I feel like maybe I'm the problem and that I'm not easy to get along with ?
Recently friends have told me I'm a good friend and a lovely person .
I'm caring , show empathy etc. I'm friendly .
But if I'm wronged , I don't forget it easily . My unwillingness to be a doormat can be perceived as being awkward or stubborn.
I will help others - provided I feel like I can count on them too . If I know they are not willing to return the favour , (not the same as not being able to) then I won't offer or go out my way.
I think I'm like this because I'm been treated like rubbish from the very people I should be helping - I.e family .
Is it just me ?
Am I selfish or do others find they fall out with a lot of family ?
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Am I just a mean person ?
10 replies
BadApple123 · 04/01/2016 18:44
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